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Dunno...
Posted: January 7th, 2013, 3:24 am
by nuveena
I do know that with bipolar issues, a preteen in the house and feeling like I'm the only one doing anything (I know it's not true, but it just feels like it sometimes) that weed seems to help balance me out. Keeps me calm and the little things that would normally irritate the hell out of me just slide down my back. Weed is amazing for letting out the Mom that the kid deserves; not some drill seargent that makes him feel like he's not doing enough. However, it's not without its problems... I worry about the worst situations (paranoia) that may not even happen. Therefore, I limit myself. I might go thru an ounce or two with my SO in one stretch and then we would take a few months off.
I can already feel the backlash. I can feel the seething rage from other parents out there, but it's easy for others to judge when they aren't in the situation. I'm a horrible control freak with a mean temper that can go from 0-60 in 1.3 when I'm straight (well, I have the capacity anyhow). What kid wants to be raised by that monster? In my experience, weed helps me to relax and be the person I want to be. LOL, and I know he recognizes it too because he gets away with so much more then... I think he will grow up to associate weed with calm and serenity. 
On a side note, I tried Oxys once (bit of a long story). I found out that I liked them waaaaaaay too much, so I refuse to touch another... Seems like it would be a slippery slope for me.
Re: Dunno...
Posted: January 9th, 2013, 6:24 pm
by manuel_moe_g
Hello nuveena, wecome to the forum!
I am a parent. You are the expert on your own situation, and what allows you to have the relationship with kid that you feel the kid deserves. That much I know.
Cheers, all the best, take care, please know we here are all cheering for you (and you kid) to have the greatest today and tomorrow!
Re: Dunno...
Posted: January 14th, 2013, 3:59 am
by Nevina
Hi nuveena, we have similar forum names!
I am not a parent, but I am much more aligned with the thought that weed is medicine rather than something horrible. I'm glad to see that you recognized the potential problem with Oxys and that stopped you from using them further. Very good parenting, right there. If weed brings you back to center, I think that's great. I wish my mom had smoked weed throughout my childhood instead of drinking herself into a stupor every night and giving me ulcers worrying about her driving drunk.
Check out Ron Funches if you don't know of him - he's a comedian parent (of an autistic child) who isn't shy about his love of weed. Although now that he's moved away from Portland (and his kid??), I don't know how his routine has changed.
Re: Dunno...
Posted: January 14th, 2013, 8:30 am
by zombie
Do you find yourself thinking about smoking throughout the day? Do you find it difficult to control how much you smoke once you start?
I can't comment on parenting as I have no kids, but pot isn't as harmless as people like to say. Like alcohol, many people can use it and have no problems. It was a problem for me. It took many years to realize, and other drugs, but I came to realize just how much I tried to justify my use. To control my mood, to relax, to take the edge off, it just feels good to be high... maybe in the short-term those things were true, but what I really had a problem with was me. I was dying inside and drugs helped me escape those feelings. Until they didn't work and then I realized I couldn't stop. I found recovery through 12 step fellowships. There are other ways to recovery, but this way works for me and has for many others.
Just some thoughts... I'm not going to say it's good or bad for you, that's up to you to decide.
Re: Dunno...
Posted: January 29th, 2013, 3:15 am
by nuveena
Thanks for the responses!
I've heard of Ron Funches... Somewhere on one of the podcasts I listen to... Couldn't remember more than that, but I will definitely look him up again.
Do I think about weed throughout the day? Yes. I think about it much like I do Skyrim. I will go all day thinking, man I can't wait to get home and finish this mission or OMG I am sooooo close to beating Alduin and that's the end of it. I guess you could also say that for me, I think about weed like I think about a slice of cheesecake in the fridge. My inner monologue goes like hey, that looks great, but I better save it for after dinner. Same with weed. I look forward to it, but I make sure that it's a right-time-right-place kinda thing.
The Oxys, however, were more like my obsession with the game Fable. I had to know everything about the game, I would pester my co-workers constantly about the release date of the next installment and I would plaster wallpapers from the game all over my computer and/or phone. Hell, I'm still thinking about getting a Fable-related tattoo. Oxys never left my brain and I knew that this line of thinking (and how quickly the ones I had disappeared) was not something I wanted to continue.
Do I have trouble controlling the amount of weed I consume? I would say "at first" simply because I quickly found out the link between too much and paranoia. Once I figured out the stopping point where I could feel the mellow but not the fear, controlling it is not an issue. I DO NOT like the paranoia feeling.
I do understand the problem of chemical dependancy causing one to go harder, deeper, faster and all... but I guess you could say that I've found my happy in weed. I don't like to drink (I have to drink too much and end up feeling just bloated and full), I'm scared sh*tless of the harder drugs and with weed being cheaper than some pharmaceuticals- the only downside for me is that I can't keep cereal in the house.