YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I put down cigarettes like yesterday's paper and never picked 'em up again. That's why it's so frustrating that I can't stop going back to the games even when I don't WANT TO EFFING PLAY THEM. I've been reading up on things and apparently you get twice the dopamine playing games that you would, which is why life outside of them feels so slow and dull.

It's goddamn embarrassing and nobody has any sympathy for you, (I'm sure people on this board will of course but you know what I mean).

I also read something from a woman claiming video games were all about men's desire to have sex with their mothers and kill their fathers.

I'm pretty sure that I'm addicted to video games. Although, when my depression lays me really low, I think about them, but can't bring myself to play them. I feel like it's too much effort to start up a game, and I don't deserve it anyway, but if I do put in that small amount of effort to start a game, I will lose many hours without noticing them. Webcomics are similar, though they require less effort to start, and are thus more destructive to my time.

Yeah, I can see how webcomics could have the same effect of trapping you, just clicking Next, Next, Next.. just trudging forward, forgetting there is an existence outside of what you are doing. I do remember a time where I would have the same feeling of being too depressed, I'd turn the game on but once it started I'd just sit there staring at the screen. These days it's not the same, I play but afterward get miserable about that time being "wasted". Thanks for replying

First up, "put down like yesterday's paper" is the most delightful and evocative phrase I've heard all week. I will be sure to weave that into a conversation soon. In other words, I can tell you have a sense of humor. Which is good.

Where to begin with video games? Considering how immersive they are, I am surprised that they don't cause problems for more people. But video games certainly cause problems for enough people: the classic example is the people who drop dead after playing for 36 hours straight.

Ergo, I put video games in with the following: alcohol, exercise, food, credit, gambling, sex...

All good servants and poor masters.

Many people can use the above without consequences. A social drinker may get too drunk one weekend, then curtail it back.

Then there are Consequences. Big "C" Consequences.

For alcohol, for example, Consequences could include: getting a DUI, getting fired, setting fire to one's bed, getting into fights with other drunk knuckleheads.

Examples of Consequences for video games could include: choosing to play over meaningful life experiences, consistently; ignoring hygiene; losing friends.

I had a housemate a few years ago who got too deep into an MMORPG. Badges, supergroups, and "missions": it took over his life, squeezing out everything except working, sleeping, and obtaining food (which he would exclusively eat in front of the computer). Were someone to ask him if were wasting his time, he would congruently (within his own mind) disagree, because his supergroup was just about to go on a Master of Statesman mission, which they could get the purple variation of the badge that.... (and so on).

I remember it was important for him to collect every candy cane in the Christmas special area that only opened once a year. smh

(The MMORPG he invested so many thousands of hours into, in the prime of his life, has since shut down. His badges don't exist anymore. All glory is fleeting.)

I sincerely apologize for this long, convoluted post! I guess what I am trying to get at is that like sex, gambling, or alcohol there is a time and place for most people to enjoy video games within reason.

We all go a little too far now and then and experience consequences. But if you are experiencing Consequences, then I encourage you to ask for help, and keep asking for help until someone cares.

That is, you will face two kinds of people who will sneer at you: people who view video game as just that: games; and people who have an interest in limiting the word "addiction" to a certain canon: a person can be addicted to alcohol and drugs, but not gambling. Or whatever. This is simply an exercise in goalpost moving. Whatever works for them, but keep telling people until you find your tribe.

As always, theonion puts it succinctly, whether the game is the NFL, association football, or in this case, video games:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/who-wi ... fte,10846/

Hey Oak don't apologize for your long post, it was great!

That article has it, yeah. That's how I feel, looking back at my "legacy". I think I'm starting to realize that chasing all these accomplishments, I trick myself into feeling like I'm going somewhere when I'm not, but it just keeps on going forever and ever, climbing up, and it's not going to make me happy. I got all the packages in Vice City back in those days. So fucking what? Where are they now? All I did was move on to some other shit to do. I'm sure it satisfied me for all of three minutes at the time.

But it's like being stuck in a trance. I'm only here because my Xbox froze on me. The appeal is that everything's straight forward in game-world. Someone says "Figure out how to break into the Vatican to get the secret files," and what that actually means is "Go down the pre-programmed path to the Vatican where we definitely will have programmed in an obvious open window or something, and you can feel like you're the big man because you figured it out." In the real world, someone says, "Make a sandwich," and all these confusing factors and obstacles from the random chaos of existence suddenly come into play. Where is a knife? What sort of bread do I use? Ugh, bad example. I don't think I'm getting my point down here.

But I appreciate you taking this seriously my friend and understanding that it is an actual addiction. I've had friends lost to MMORPG hell also and the thing that annoys me about it is that the designers of those types of games know what they're doing man, they're designed to entrap people.

I feel inspired to pull myself out of the funk and find chores to do! Time to turn myself into the hero for once, rather than staring at the hero's arse all day while he runs around collecting things for no reason! YEAH!

I am a recovering video game addict. I have had a compulsive relationship with many different types of games (shooters, RPG, mmo, flash). Thinking back on my life, I can identify video game abuse from as young as maybe age 8-10.

I played for entertainment. I played to treat boredom. I played to reward myself for work (like chores). I played to get myself ready to work. I played to take breaks from work. I played first thing in the morning before work. I played as soon as I got home from work. I played AT work sometimes. I played because I was lonely. I played because I was angry. I played because I felt like a piece of shit. Any moment in my life that I *could*play, I did. I didn't understand why other people went like me.

Last august I found a group devoted to video game addiction and I'm almost 1 year game free. The cravings and flashbacks are still there sometimes. I'm now aware of the massive dysfunction and emotional wounds I have. I *feel* worse without games but my life is unquestioningly better.

If anyone is interested in my experience I'm happy to email or whatever.

Video game addiction is real, and it is hugely damaging. Big hugs to you all.

Oh, Dusty, man, thank you. It feels so nice not be laughed at for bringing this up. I almost had a panic attack playing GTAV for the first time because I wanted to stop playing but couldn't turn the shit off. It feels so shameful to talk about, makes me wish I was an alchy or something. Ugh, I've gotta stop attacking myself.

You are awesome man. Respect to you for giving up. I've tried to cold turkey it but I get so miserable. I can't find a support group in a town this small for this. But I've been replacing a game session for working out or meditating, and that's been doing me wonders. I think it's about a hiding place for my brain, and it's about choosing fighting or hiding.

Big hugs and love to you, cowboy!

2 thoughts!

(Skyrim TWs and spoiler alerts)

1. I liked how mention about the window that just so happens to be open; I just started playing the amazing game Skyrim, and this game is full of them. One example, of many: when you leave the first village, you can turn right and go up the hill. There is a mine entrance. Walking in, you "activate" the mine car, opening the rest of the dungeon. Or this one: the first Companion mission is take that guy into another dungeon. Partway through conveniently enough there is a lever to pull, trapping you behind a gate. Your buddy gets surrounded by evil minions, turns into a werewolf (!), kills everyone, then opens said gate.

In other words, even an amazingly open world like Skyrim is heavily (a) then (b) then (c).....

2. I am 38, had a 2600 at age 6, then really got going with a Nintendo around 1988. I remember playing Metal Gear, Bubble Bobble. Zelda 2. I rage quit on RPGs on Ocarina, because I really hate fetch quests.

Then, I play Skyrim and it is soooo immmersive. It is much more film than game, at least as I understood games twenty years ago. Three things stand out:

a. The graphics are amazing. I am not sure that my lizard brain can't tell the difference between a gory, slow motion critical hit in the video game vs. knowing that it is not real.

b. The game is paced like a Hitchcock film: boring quiet until bam! Or, slowly but surely building tension to a known danger moment.

c. There is much more human connection in games, whether playing online or again, in Skyrim, for example how I was welcomed into the Companions.


All of this is just a super long way of saying that man, games are so powerful these days: visually, emotionally, and story wise.

If Zelda 2* was caffeine and Goldeneye was aspirin, these games today are like emotional heroin.



* Which was awesome

I don't know if this is a faux pas here, but I'm going to go for it (and if it is I'm sorry). Computer Game Addicts Anonymous CGAA.info There are daily chat meetings and forums dedicated to recovery from video game addiction.

That's no faux pa my friend, it's helpful, I am opening that site in another window. You're a good guy.