YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

The only things I've found that helps is marijuana and alcohol but I stay away from that because I got a bum liver. I've been afraid of seeking professional help due to stigma and judgement even by my immediate family. Right now what I do is ride out the waves of depression, etc. by indulging or pampering myself in solitude until it passes. I was hoping people could talk about the first time they sought help, what they did and what their experience was like.

I went to my GP a few years ago, I had recently broken up with my girfriend, was going through a financially-crippling divorce (is there any other kind!), had recently suffered a career setback and fractured my wrist falling of my bike on a morning commute.

I seemed to be coping ok until it dawned on me that I couldn't ride the bike for many weeks, and the self-satisfaction of this exercise was the only thing propping up my pride or self-worth.

This is just came out as I was seeing the GP about my wrist! He prescribed Cymbalta, and it works - for me.

Its like bailing the water out of my leaky boat in a storm, the meds are a bigger bucket. More rounded, thoughtful, advice would include the types of things Paul and others are extolling here, and yes I've still got the holes in my boat, and maybe I should change course, but I'd be sunk without the bigger bucket!

(Sorry for the over-worked metaphor)

regards,
Greg

Ian,
Boy do I know how you feel. Do not lose hope. The bad news is: you will have to connect to people to recover. The good news is: You will find people just like you who can share their experience with you. I highly recommend not only therapy, but some time of group therapy as well. It transformed my life. I couldn't give up drugs and alcohol, so I got my group therapy in AA, but any type of group therapy is helpful. I always thought I could "think" my way towards happiness. You can't. It's a negative cycle. At the heart of the problem with depression is leading a smaller and smaller life and feeling worse and worse about ourselves.

Does your family have to know you're going to therapy? Could you go and not tell them? My hunch is, the fact that you have a family that would look down on you for going to therapy confirms that your family environment isn't healthy and you should go to therapy. I was worried what people thought as well, but I worried needlessly. Would it make sense for a diabetic to not take insulin because someone thinks its uncool? Depression is an illness, not a weakness. Obviously these are just all my opinions, but I wish you well. Keep asking for help. It will come if you seek it.

Rich

If I tell people I go to therapy I assume people will have pity for me which is the worst feeling to endure. Although judgement seems to be intertwined with pity as well most of the time. I love my family and I know they want the best for me but sometimes what they want to give me is not what I need. Maybe I'm too dependent on them because I don't have many friends. Also I don't meet new people often because isolation is a coping mechanism for me. I'm in the last couple weeks of graduating with my B.A. at age 30 and I have intense anxiety about the future. It seems I'm near a breaking point and need to get help regardless of the consequences.