YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

It dawns on me that when things are going semi-ok in my life, I don't get depressed (sad, hopeless, down) but I get angry and irritated all the time. The things that made me mad bother me for hours or days. How would I go about trying to get out of this?

I haven't had health insurance for... maybe 4-6 months. I haven't seen my regular counselor since last year I think. I just started to see a different counselor last week and they're trying to get me back on track with the meds. I'm just not sure what to do in the meantime.

Hi there,

I am not really qualified to answer this, but I will do my best.

I have realized that anger is certainly a part of my depression. The old saying goes; anger is the "second emotion". With a trigger such as fear based on all sorts of things.

When I am angry and blow up at someone, I always feel like shit afterwards. It is sort of self perpetuating into feeling bad about myself and then feeling bad in general.

It may not be a bad idea to stop after the next time you get angry and try to dissect why.

I hope this helps, if not don't get pissed at me

Sometimes I feel like we're addicted to negative emotions (when I say we, I mean types like us--not all people). For so long, we're used to feeling bad about ourselves or others that is can be difficult to consistently feel content. So, you can have a person that wants to get better, basically gets there, but just likes to dabble in those negative feelings for old times' sake. I've been there and done that. So, at times, I think I'm artificially angry. What is the best thing for dealing with that in my view? Laughing my ass off at it!

Sometimes I feel like we're addicted to negative emotions (when I say we, I mean types like us--not all people). For so long, we're used to feeling bad about ourselves or others that is can be difficult to consistently feel content. So, you can have a person that wants to get better, basically gets there, but just likes to dabble in those negative feelings for old times' sake. I've been there and done that. So, at times, I think I'm artificially angry. What is the best thing for dealing with that in my view? Laughing my ass off at it!

Well put Mr. Frankcashew! I, too, have noticed this about myself! (and my wife...) It seems habitual and when you're without it all of a sudden, you seem to make an excuse to feel a certain way.

For me, my anger is very real. I have a pretty short fuse, but it only goes off in certain situations where I'm more in control or comfortable. If I'm not in control or feel out of my element I tend to let people walk all over me. I think it definitely feeds my depression when I lash out at the people I care about the most.

I know this is several months later but I wanted to add that YES, I feel anger is very much a part of depression...at least for me. One of my personal indicators that something is wrong in my head (chemically or whatever) is when I notice that I'm unreasonably angry over something that wouldn't cause a normal person to be more than a bit perturbed. Example: Husband fusses about a bad parking job...I think a normal response to that would be mild irritation but in me it would cause this sense of intense rage that would then spiral into every other aspect of my life until I had what I refer to as a "ball of white hot fury" in my chest. That, to me, is not normal and indicates that there's something wrong. And because it's such a LOW feeling, I equate it with depression.

I hate that anger comes so quickly to me, and that I instantly turn it into an attack on others. Bleh. It happens so fast, not sure what to do, doesn't feel like there is a space between stimulus and response to insert a different way of being in.

Manuel...sometimes that's the way it rolls and it takes time to change that pattern. Think about each experience after it happens and try to figure out where you could have changed your response. Maybe try to visualize a giant stop sign that flashes up right after the stimulus...STOP! then pause, take a breath, and re-evaulate before responding. It won't work the first few times, but over time it might start to become the new cycle. Good luck!

For a quiet introvert like myself I have a HUGE, intense angry side. I used to let it distance myself from other people and it was a barrier to separate what I was really feeling about a situation or person.

But I learned something from The Avengers movie that makes me understand myself and my anger. *WARNING* SPOILERS! When The Black Widow and Stark ask Dr. Bruce Banner, aka The Hulk, how keeps from going angry-berserk all the time he finally reveals how he keeps his cool at the end. He says its because "I'm always angry".

AMEN, BROTHER! I like to use my anger now as a motivation against what I hate to see in the world and in myself. It keeps me from getting mollified by society and not become a sheeple. It makes me want to fight back to be happy and not just be drowned by my own depression.

Stan Lee is my anti-drug.