YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I feel so disconnected with other people. I have not had a relationship in over a year. I want a girlfriend so badly but girls never notice me. I am in great shape, I rock climb a lot, go to school, live in a cool city with lots of people my age, but I can't seem to meet girls. I actively try online dating but nobody looks at my profile. I have major anxiety about talking to girls in person, I feel inferior to almost every single girl I see unless she is out of shape, overweight, etc. the. I can initiate conversation but their is no attraction.

I believe I feel so disconnected from people because of deep rooted religious programming that I cannot resolve. I feel different from everyone around me. I don't know how to be seen by girls.

Sorry this post is somewhat confusing. I'll try to be more specific about my issues a little later today.

Just hoping someone can provide insight as to why romantic relationships are not happening for me. I was more successful when I was in college, but something snapped a couple years ago and since then I have felt disconnected from women in general.

Camp4 wrote:I have major anxiety about talking to girls in person, I feel inferior to almost every single girl I see unless she is out of shape, overweight, etc. the. I can initiate conversation but their is no attraction.

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I was more successful when I was in college, but something snapped a couple years ago and since then I have felt disconnected from women in general.

Physically attractive women in the years post-college have a lot of options when it comes to dating and relationships. So it is not surprising that they look askance. Confidence is very attractive to women, and lack of confidence is a definite handicap.

I would continue working initiating conversations with women who don't make you so anxious you cannot socially function. There is not physical attraction, but you will have an opportunity to work on your friendship skills with women. With repetition, you will be able to function under a small amount of anxiety, and ask those women out who give you a small amount but reasonable level of anxiety.

All the best to you, cheers, we here are all cheering you on toward your greatest today and tomorrow!