Overstimulated and panicky

[lawlessness45]

Not good. Physically and mentally drained, but I can't really pinpoint why. I did try to work out this morning, but their were so many people. It was like overstimulation I think. And now I've got to go back for work and I am just dreading it. All the noise and activity...it's just too much. Being out of the hospital has been fine, but I haven't had to deal with this level of stimulation in over a week. And the meds they have me on make me feel more sluggish than usual anyway. I'm sitting at home, and enjoying the silence. I almost want to cry, just thinking about the insane busyness of Saturdays. Hopefully things will have died down, but there are 2 children's parties planned, each with at least 20-40 kids, so I doubt it. Honestly I am just exhausted. I know I need the new med to keep me emotionally stabilized, but I don't like the fog I seem to be living in. I keep telling myself my body is still adjusting (it's only been a week for gods sake) but it still sucks that I just feel so out of it. I didn't notice it in the hospital, but being out and having to talk to people, my speech is slower and I'm just not as alert. I don't like it. I'm trying to not let it bother me, but it dose. God damn it, I'm going to be late...merg...wish me luck...

[ironhorse]

Hope you got through Saturday in one piece! Did you have to work today or did you get some peace and quiet? It's good that you try to work out, but is there a place where you can go to do it quietly? I'm lucky that way, I live in a small town with forest tracts to hike in ( when it's not so bloody cold!) and when I force myself to go out there it's so peaceful! Are there places around you where you can go hiking or just walking or jogging on a quiet path? Perhaps you can try meditating for even 5 minutes in the morning or during the day. It may really help! I understand about being out of it - all winter long all I've done on my days off is sleep. This isn't normal for me so I think it's something to do with my meds too. Dealing with the public when you're 'off' is incredibly tough, and with all the kids involved sounds downright insane! Keep strong and take it one day at a time, or even one minute at a time. You'll come out on top in the end and be all the stronger for it!
J.

[lawlessness45]

Thanks ironhorse. I managed to make it through Saturday, but it was rough. I was distracted and rather unmotivated, but I managed ok. I ended up skipping a few of my regular routines, just because being around that much noise was making me jumpy. I think the frustration comes in that I'm not normally like this. But being in the controlled environment a psyche ward and then having to jump back into the chaos That is daily life was a bit overwhelming. I also recently started taking abilify at my doctors behest, and it dose interesting things to my mind and body for a few hours after I take it. So I think it was just a combination of those two that made me so edgy. I managed to pull through Sunday as well, but it was difficult. I think it is just going to take time.

And I can workout in quiet places. I can always go for a walk around my block or take up with some of the trails that are in fairly close proximity to my home and work. The weather here is still pretty cold and unpredictable, so that might cramp my style a bit. And changing the time I work out would probably help too. As long as I avoid the peak hours of 3-6pm and 5-8 am the gym will probably be pretty chill. I'm just going to have to kind of feel my way around for a while and figure out life on these new meds. Nothing I haven't done before, it's just been a long time. But thanks for the suggestions and encouragement.