Where's my remorse?

[BBQ Dude]

I cheated on my wife about three weeks ago. Told her two weeks ago. She instantly started moving out. Graciously let me stay in our rental house cause I have a catering business with lots of equipment.

The first few days were turmoil, and then I started to feel better(not about what I did) in life. I have been eating super healthy, working out, and cleaning the house(something neither of us did).
I feel like a machine with no emotion at times.
I know she is devastated, and I carry on my day like nothing happened.
This last Sunday, I thought she would have all her stuff out. Today, like an asshole, I mentioned that and said "We just need to move on." The long text back understandably scathing, and truthful. Later today I found out she told one of my friends what happened. I said I didn't appreciate it. Her reply was again scathing and truthful. Rightly deserved.
I have felt terrible all night. Why can't I empathize with what she is going through? I hardly feel bad about it, until I see how much I hurt her? What a narcissist I am.
Is it possible to be considered a good person again?

I went to my first therapy session last week, and told him "I just want to know something isn't wrong with me for feeling like this." Am I that focused on myself tap hat I cannot see the chaos I have created for others?
I have not cried much through this, but definitely am today. I feel so shitty even crying because I made this bed for myself.
But one side of me says, "you can grieve for two weeks or six months, or longer" same with feeling bad and ashamed about myself. So just move on.
I am the asshole here and deserve these feelings and punishment. How long is long enough? Never? Till she is healed and recovered?
After I slept with the other woman, her and I immediately broke it off. Only ten days after the divorce we were back at it. Holy balls, am I an idiot? I really like her, but know this is a time to focus on fixing me so last night I told her this needs to be paused. She was understanding and said she will be there for me. I feel like screaming at her saying, "Don't you get it? Run! Run far from me. I will only hurt you!"

So how do I feel now? Low, very low of an individual. Scummy, trashy, shitty. Like a Jack ass for asking how long I will feel this way.

[manuel_moe_g]

You are not a jackass. I am glad you are in therapy. Take care, and be truthful in therapy, that way you will make the quickest progress.

[TinaMarie1234]

IMHO-it seems like there are a group of people who cheat as a way to force a crisis in a relationship. By that I meant that there seem to be some people who won't directly/proactively undertake the breakup, but instead will start a new relationship or one time affair as a way to transition out of or break up the relationship. So, I'm wondering if you might be one of those people and maybe that's why you're not feeling as remorseful about everything as you might otherwise? If so, the moving on with life (eating healthy, working out, etc.) makes sense.

I'm glad that you're going to therapy as it will give you the chance to work through your feelings and help you to be more empathetic toward yourself and your ex.

Good luck.

[BBQ Dude]

Thanks both of you.