Trying to hang in there

[rivergirl]

I'm having a really difficult day, with feelings of sadness and intense anxiety.

The positive things I'm doing to try to hang in:

I'm recognizing that it is both the holidays and the end of a year that included many family illnesses and the death of my sister, so maybe it's normal to feel bad at this time.

I told my brother how things are for me today, and he's coming over later and taking me for a drive. It's really hard for me to admit to him that I'm struggling and to ask him even indirectly for help, but I'm trying to accept that it's okay that I didn't feel like I could manage on my own today.

I'm trying not to tell myself that today is an indication of what my future will always be like.

rivergirl

[oak]

The title of your thread says it all: hang in there.

Lots of people want to see you make it.

[brownblob]

I'm glad you reached out to your brother. Sometimes it is too hard to go it alone. Keep hangin in there, River.

[rivergirl]

Thank you for your kindness, oak and brownblob. It helps more than I can express during this tough weekend.

Seeing my brother yesterday probably wasn't a good idea, but I'm trying to forgive myself for trying. It was a brief visit and he actually never asked how I was. We took my elderly mom for a short drive, and mostly my brother talked about his immediate family activities and about some of the expensive material things that he and his wife and friends own or are buying (homes, cars, watches, etc.)

I've learned over the past couple of years that I can't expect support from my brother and his wife. It still hurts because we were closer in the past, and when I'm feeling desperate I've occasionally tried reaching out to them, but it's better if I accept the reality and look for more support and companionship elsewhere.

[brownblob]

I'm sorry to hear that your family is not there to give you support while you're struggling. I know how hard and terrible it can be. I hope you can find some support from someone.

[bigeekgirl]

The holidays and winter itself (for those in the northern hemisphere) can be so hard. *hugs*

[rivergirl]

Thank you brownblob and bigeekgirl. I really appreciate your messages.

I got through the work week and seem to be getting through the weekend better than I was able to last weekend.

[bigeekgirl]

Glad to hear it, River.

[ncj]

Hugs to you, rivergirl!

- nj

[rivergirl]

Hugs back to you, nj! How are you doing?