did something halfway right and then fucked up

[Werewolf]

Yeah well I'm just not good at adulting. And that's the nice way to put it.
Doing grown up stuff scares me shitless.

I had to make a kinda important phone call today to resolve something. I have been putting this off for about a week because I was just to scared to, well, talk to this stranger on the phone. I was quite sure they would hear through my attempt to sound like the grown up I am supposed to be and really recognize the scared little child I feel like most of the time. I am afraid one day someone will catch me playing "adult" and I will get scolded for it. Haha. But I guess in fact I am most afraid that my parents will see me as a total failure for not being able to do what they tried to teach me: Live properly. Wow, now I really do sound like a child.

So I did make this phone call and it went okay so far. Maybe I tricked them into believing they really talked to an adult by trying to keep my voice deep and steady although internally I was shaking. The person I talked to left me with some instructions for how to proceed further and after I hang up I was so damn relieved. I followed their instructions to change the account settings I was told to change on the website and then the website told me my request was being processed. It also told me to contact customer service, but I chose to ignore that as for me one scary phone call per day seems to be more than enough. I kept reloading the page to see if anything had already been changed, and then... I accidently hit the "cancel request" button.

Wow. Can't beat myself up enough for the fact that I am beating myself up for something as trivial as this. How can this cause me so much anxiety?
I guess I'll try to send an e-mail instead.

Werewolf

[snoringdog]

So, hey, you went thru the phone call once already, why not think of it as a dress rehearsal, and try again?

And don't think that you've supposedly left the house "fully formed". Ha!
For young men at least, the areas in the brain that govern executive functions aren't fully formed till freaking 25 yrshave passed!

Give yourself a break. You'll find that most people are willing to do that too!

Regards

SD

[Heatherwantspeace]

Werewolf,
Some days my only goal is to say "Hi" to everyone at work. If I'm not able to make meaningful conversation that day, that's okay.
Also, you don't need to live up to anyone's idea of what an adult is. Whoever you are right now is okay. You're doing fine.
Heather

[brownblob]

See myself in everything you wrote werewolf