New Job

[duck1]

I thought of starting a new thread and not continuing with "like the whole word is against me".
I finished five months in my new job.
Overall, I think I am doing OK. I didn't receive any negative criticism and I'm given more work and responsibilities.

I have some anxiety, which i guess is partially natural, as the new person.

There are things that bother me, and I know now that its has do with ME. The place is not toxic, the people are frineldy, my boss is definetly reasonable (at least), the physical conditions are much better, the salary is somewhat higher, the work is more interesting, there is no commute...

So overall, this is the best job I could wish for.

So my issues:

1. They are very close knit there, so there is SO MUCH small talk, its like too much stimuli, I love the days which for various reason there are less people. It's so intensive. There are many social events, meetings, and just coffee breaks.

2. I am out of my comfort zone, I need to lean so many processes and take notes, which I am not good at.

overall, I am very anxious, uptight. This has to do with my social anxiety. I feel like I am in a prison of my own making. and the last few days I am also sadder than normal. Everything feels heavy, each noise is like my amlified in my mind and pyshche. and I feel like everyone can see through me, which is addional perssue, everyone can see through my depression.

I can say, that when the reverse is present, there is quiet, I can focus on my work, I can hear the birds chirping and I enjoy the beautfiul view from my window I am happy.

I guess that the solution is to somehow feel less intimidates and judged by the people around me, and see them as my allies and if not close friends, at least beloved and valuable felllows.

I guess I also fear to disclose too much about myself and that's part of this. I fear that if I start talking I reveal things that are not appropriate.

Thanks for listening.

[oak]

Congratulations, duck1. I’m glad it’s working out.

And, since imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, I might post a bookend about a Thursday meeting at work.

In the meantime, I wish you continued success

[duck1]

thanks!

[snoringdog]

Hello Duck1

Congratulations! Sounds like you're doing pretty well.

there is SO MUCH small talk, its like too much stimuli,

That *is* a real thing. Some people are extroverts and get energy from interaction. (We all do, of course, but not to the same degree). Sound like you're a bit overloaded by this. Every time someone says something, we're forced to concentrate, understand, and possibly reply. This takes real mental energy, and gets tiring.

This has to do with my social anxiety. I feel like I am in a prison of my own making. and the last few days I am also sadder than normal.

Maybe the over-stimulation is causing a bit of a depressive episode....

to somehow feel less intimidated and judged by the people around me and see them as my allies and if not close friends, at least beloved and valuable fellows.

Feeling judged and watched sounds like a depressive (dysthymic?) symptom to me (I'm familiar with it), and a distortion of the way things really are, that you've identified and described so clearly.

I guess I also fear to disclose too much about myself and that's part of this.

Hmm, yes. There has to be a book on this somewhere... How to navigate conversations gracefully...

[Mental Fairy]

This sounds positive duck1. You have come far in the last five months. There will always be awkward moments, keep onwards and we are always here.