I have feelings

[oak]

Thanks for sharing.

You’re doing good.

[Heatherwantspeace]

More feelings that I'd like to put here in the hope that they will stop rattling around in my head:

We have done well with flattening here, partially because of geography, partially because of community-minded compliance. As a result, graduated lifting of the bans will start. I fully understand that this is in our best interests, as we are getting to the point where people psychologically can't do this anymore. Kids are sneaking out, as kids will do, young adults are starting to date, as young adults will do. Small businesses are one sale away from closure. I get it.
Still...a kind of terror on my part. Black and white thinking. Life experience informing my belief in the world being a safe place.

The comfort I have found in distancing will come to an end. This is so selfish, but living in a world where we are conscious of each other's safety and psychological comfort has been great for me. No surprises.I have loved the time I've spent cooking and hanging out with my partner. After the initial overeating, I settled into healthy meals and have lost a big chunk of my midlife pooch. There's no inquisition about what I did on my days off. Nothing! Just like I like!

I had some symptoms the other day and was sure the covid had come for me. I hate physical pain and discomfort. I'm not strong that way. I don't want to get sick. I want this over.

Coworkers who are using minimizing as a coping method. Eating in "dirty" areas at work. Sure, I can report individual incidents, but overall I have no control over what the people around me are doing. Fuck them.

When things go back to normal, I will have no excuse to not work on making close friends. There has been a nice respite, "out of my control".

My brother will stop caring about me again once there is no imminent threat.

We will stop caring about each other again once there is no imminent threat.

[oak]

Heather, thank you for sharing. I am so glad you did.

I've thought many of the same things you have, so I appreciate the courage you demonstrate by saying them out loud, specifically (and here I only speak for myself):

1. Covid is a nightmare, tragedy, and source of society-wide trauma along the lines of 9/11, Katrina, and/or Sandy. We may never know the extent of human death, wreckage, and suffering.

2. Our authorities, especially civil, have instituted quarantines that have solid epidemiological and public health outcomes, that can be demonstrated.

3. Covid, the quarantine, and the attendant consequences are vast, complex, and changing.

All that being said, stressing that the quarantine is mandated, the quarantine can be a one in a lifetime opportunity.

There is much more I'd like to say, but Covid and the quarantine are such charged, complex, and dynamic situations, and words can't express everything, so I'll leave it here. Just know that I very much appreciate your post.

[Heatherwantspeace]

Thanks for that, Oak. I hope everyone understands these are my self centered ramblings--I feel free here to be my contradictory, complex self.
As a privileged employed person, you bet I'm spreading my support around to every business, artist, social cause in my midst. I'm also (homemade) masking it up and giving lots of space when I go out to take care of those around me.

I watched a youtube last night that explained that those of us who've never felt connection to others due to attachment trauma suddenly feel connected to others through this common cause. That's where I'm at. Like you said Oak, it's all very complex and charged and hard to talk about. I would never trade anyone else's misery or hardship for this and I hope for everyone that it's over as soon as possible.

Heather

[oak]

Well said!

And, lest you feel any regret/shame regarding still working, I as a recently unemployed person, offer this meme from Reddit (NSFW PG-13 language):

https://i.redd.it/quc8dd0de0s41.jpg

and one more

https://www.reddit.com/r/gatesopencomeo ... _stimulus/

and lastly

https://www.reddit.com/r/gatesopencomeo ... en_seeing/

Hang in there!

[Heatherwantspeace]

Thank you, those are lovely!
Heather