Job search, ongoing (July 1-Sept 30)

[oak]

Thank you very much, BeanyBoo, Heather, and SnoringDog! Your encouragement has helped me, and I'll take all the help I can get.

This past week:

"Bad" news: I achieved 0 of 3 goals (apply for 1-2 jobs, complete volunteer duties, have clean and airy apartment).

Not having my meal prep done for the week got me off on the wrong foot, since I was cooking on Monday rather than getting traction or easy early wins with my job search. I have plans to easily complete this week's meal prep (ie cooked and in the freezer, ready) today.

Nevertheless, actions taken:

I did read some job search books for instruction and inspiration.

I got my eyes checked and ordered biofocals, which will help me code and read job search books.

My other job search books arrived.

For funsies I got a $10 Udemy class about building one's own cryptocurrency. I have $10 and the time to try something like since, especially since the code language it is in is very much in demand.

I explained my job search plan to my father and close friend, and they said my plan seems solid. They did not express any reservations, and encouraged everything I've discussed here.

Though I didn't accomplish anything like I wanted, in my printed plan for the week, nothing is lost. Of the full weeks in July, one is gone and three remain.

Next week:

I've recycled last week's plan. Frankly, it is very clear, with small and achievable goals. I am a bit disappointed regarding last week, but I can ease into this week. Nice and easy. No stress required.

[oak]

No interviews yet, but I did have one highlight this week:

I spoke with the career counselor from my undergrad institution and she said my job-search plan is, and I quote: "Amazing, amazing".

While individual moments, day to day, can be terrifying (the awesome unemployment ends this week-yikes!) overall I am keeping inspired.

The "why" is crystal clear (I'm in love with someone), and the how (weekly and daily plans) are solid. The career counselor helped me look at *why* I do any activity, and to focus on just several (3-4 types of action a week) that will be most effective and efficient. So, the "what" of my job search.

This is the second to last full week of July, so I hope to have the traditional job search (resume/networking/applying for jobs) pretty solid, and get a good start on finishing my portfolio site for tech/web. Once I have that portfolio site up, then I'll really be in good position.

In the meantime I have the support of my family and friends, and continue to be careful to eat/walk/stretch in the morning before beginning the day with an inspirational job search book reading.

So, especially in the macro, I am in trouble: I am unemployed in a chaotic society. But I have plenty going for me, and plenty of action I can take daily. My future is in my hands, with the support of family, friends, job search books, and my new career counselor.

[Heatherwantspeace]

Oak, you are well equipped to handle these times. You understand them, and can build a plan forward. You're doing it now!
Heather

[oak]

Mid-week update!

Here is a graphical representation of the success in implementing my job search plan.

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6Zt7YExBfE89p6Yo

And here is real-time footage of my dignity:

https://gph.is/2cNUfTK

Lastly here is footage of my attempts at taekwando

https://gph.is/11iMokS

Now that I can laugh at myself, here goes:

I am very happy with my job search plan. While it is something of a mental burden, as this big thing for a life-or-death matter, above all it has been very comforting: since I have a good plan I don't have to think. I just have to do as the experts say in the job search book!

I can start again tomorrow. Wrap up any loose ends for today, forgive myself, and start fresh tomorrow, with my simple and good plan.

Thanks for listening, and thanks to Heather for your encouragement, above!

https://gph.is/2RZiDrK

[oak]

Hi friends.

Last week was another disappointment, achievement-wise.

Going forward to the new week: Fortunately, thanks to what I've learned in anxiety hierarchies (break big & scary goals into small and & easy tasks), I can atomize each goal. This reddit meme captures it well:

https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes ... at_a_time/

And likewise, this, for the larger picture of goals:

https://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/c ... _to_finish

And I identify more with this poor creature than I am willing to admit!

https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes ... g_my_best/

[manuel_moe_g]

I loved those memes, especially the one about "one trouser leg at a time"

My last week was a disappointment, I made choices during the week to nap and play on my smartphone, choices that I regret now.

What I am working on right now, because I want to be a "two steps forward, one step back" kind of guy instead of a "one step forward, two steps back" kind of guy:

[1] unconditional self-love - practicing loving myself unconditionally, in the same way I love my daughter. It is mind-bendingly hard for me.

[2] choice - putting my actions in the form of choosing as a self-actualizing agent, also owning up to my choices

[3] realism - knowing that my tomorrow will resemble my yesterday, except 1% better every day, with interest compounded

What are your watchwords for the upcoming week, Oak?

Oak, we here are cheering you on!

[oak]

Thank you, Manuel Moe. It is great to hear from you, and I'm glad to hear that you are continuing to do well.

While we all, starting with me, need to be careful of screentime, I kindly encourage you to be a bit flexible with napping. Sleep is up there with proper hydration. If you don't already have a thread about napping/sleeping, feel free to start one.

While you challenge yourself to love yourself as you love your daughter, a worthy goal, remember that you have the esteem of a good man, me (to the extent I am a good man!). There are many kinds of love, and one import type is esteem between good men.

Thanks for the challenge to list my watchwords (phrases?). Here goes:

1. "Take it easy"

What is the absolute minimum I need to accomplish today, and what is the easiest way to effect it?

(Much like our meme friend above with the pants.)

2. "If I can just make it to Thursday"

I've always loved Thursday, especially when I am unemployed.

A friend of a friend has a Latin Afro-Cuban radio show Thursday mornings, and there is just something hopeful and attainable about making it to Thursday. Something about "long days/short weeks" or "short days/long weeks".

Overall

This is a big anniversary of my brother's death. I am giving myself a little grace and ease. I can ramp up my job search next week.

While I'm using struggling with the Anger and Tired of HALT, the last three days I've had pure, unadulterated Loneliness. It is searing. I'm eating, shaving, showering, taekwando-ing, and wearing clean clothes, but that's about all I can do, for now.

[Heatherwantspeace]

Oak, big internet/quarantine hugs as you work through another phase of grief around your brother's death. The lack of physical contact with other people, even incidental, is starving us all of a basic human need. Do what you need to do. There may still be some child grief to express so go ahead and express as a child if you feel compelled to.
Keep up with eating and hydrating as much as you can. Know that we are thinking of you.
Heather

[Beany Boo]

There’s a theory that anxiety is the conflict between a subconscious desire and a conscious need.

For example, the subconscious says “big rest now.” The conscious mind says, “get a job!”

Both are right. The tension is real.

[oak]

Thank you Heather and BeanyBoo: your kind words gave me space to grieve, before taking up my job search again.

1. The grief experience
2. Inching back into a job search
3. Encouragement from unexpected sources

1. My Grief experience

Last Wednesday was a comparatively big day, including a telehealth doctors appointment and martial arts belt test. I passed the test, but walking home I instantly realized two things about my right foot ring (?) toe:

1. It is not broken, but definitely sprained/jammed from a poorly-executed kick.
2. Other than the dumpster, I was not walking anywhere for nearly a week.

I had all the necessities of life (food, clean clothes, soap/shaving), so I had all the more "motivation" to stay home and grieve. I did. Per Robert Bly, sometimes grief will get crafty into pulling me into a katabasis (which is not unlike "hitting bottom", per our 12 step friends).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katabasis ... tabasis%20(Ancient%20Greek,country%20down%20to%20the%20coast.

(While I have "hit bottom", at least three times, "katabasis" seems to fit me and my experiences better.)

I put zero exceptions on myself to shower, shave, clean, or "be a responsible adult"; I did take this once in a lifetime opportunity to grieve. And how does one grieve? I have no idea.

2. I've always believed that anything worth doing is worth doing poorly, per our Reddit friends, here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes ... ly_if_you/

Long story short, after five days of trying to grieve, this morning I showered, shaved, cooked a steak, ate some ice cream sandwiches, took my Buspar, and "strictly for funsies" created the world's worst custom website theme. I gave myself until the laundry was done (another small miracle accomplished).

3. Good news... that I feel guilty about.

In the last week three web/tech/code recruiters have reached out to me per my LinkedIn profile. I haven't gotten back to them today, since that was not "easing into my job search", but I'll email them tomorrow.

And of course I feel guilty because many Americans are out of work but not getting any response from the hundreds of applications they're sending out. Now I'm no stranger to the same, but goodness do I feel guilty about recruiters (which is not the same as employers) contacting me.

On the other hand, it does inspire me to ramp up my web portfolio site. My toe is getting better (soon I can walk to see the pretty baristas!) and am actually excited to re-start my job search.

Thanks for listening! Grief is nothing to be afraid of. Or maybe it is. Maybe it is the one thing to fear in life. I don't know. I don't know anything about grief. I know less than when I started this horrid journey.