Seeking any kind of hope/suggestions

[brownblob]

I hope you enjoyed the exhibit and that it got you out of your head for a little while.

[rivergirl]

Some things happened over the weekend so I didn't have a chance to post again.

A former neighbor/friend had a shocking abrupt health issue and is expected to pass away in the next couple of days. My sister also had a fall on Saturday, after seeming to make some improvements, and she's now hospitalized again.

Things feel more than a bit surreal. I'm going to get a brain MRI this morning to rule out an underlying cause for my recent hearing loss. I feel alone and wish I had someone to accompany me to this appointment, even though it's routine and I've gone to hundreds of medical appointments alone.

Thank you all for being here. It makes me feel slightly less alone, and that means a lot to me.

[manuel_moe_g]

Good luck, Rivergirl, we will be there with you in spirit.

[rivergirl]

I just wanted to say thank you, Manny. I thought of you when I was at the clinic.

I should have spoken up when I was setting up the appointment when asked about claustrophobia because the experience was initially more frightening than I expected. There's a kind of cage-like structure that was placed over my head, and then when I was in the MRI machine the "roof" felt only inches away from my face. I think my meditation and breathing practice helped because I was able to relax enough after a few minutes to get through the test.

I already got the results back, and everything was normal.

Thank you again,

rg

[techchick]

Hi rivergirl ... I'm a bit late to the thread but I hope the weekend is going OK so far and that you're getting a bit of relief from the super-low place.

Part of me believes none of this matters any more, but I'm trying to convince myself that self-care and better test results are a goal that's still worth aiming for.

I've been in that place. Sometimes simply "doing the next right thing" in terms of physical health is all I can muster, and that's just so that I can reduce any suffering that might come from physical illness. I don't like pain of any kind!

I think it's so great that you keep showing up here in any and all conditions as they say in AA. Candor is so important. I'm hoping to be around here a lot more frequently because I can see there's a lot of love in these forums.

[rivergirl]

I appreciate your encouragement, techchick. It was a difficult weekend again but I was able to be productive, and I did buy healthy groceries for the week.

I learned "you're only as sick as your secrets" from Oak. I believe that's also an AA saying. I think I've shared more secrets here than I have anywhere else, including in therapy.