Ta-dah! List

[Beany Boo]

There’s a guy in my office who is the most popular. We’re ‘friends’ but I have little in common with him. I’m aware that - just as I have to actively manage boundaries with the more problematic members of staff - I have to sustain a high level of likability with him in order to keep the peace.

Today finally, I sighed and dropped the pretense of being likable, and just lightly, casually spoke the truth; about an earlier incident. It wasn’t attacking, but I wasn’t as pandering as normal either. I just felt like it was time to drop the BS.

He made a face like he’d smelled something awful.

The look had the unexpected effect of releasing me from having to do that emotional labor in the present. I also accept that he may simply be less… responsive to emotional variations than me. I am happy to be going through something important, even it’s only inside my own mind. I don’t know if it’s something others are concerned with. It’s a relief for me.

It counts as a ta-dah! list item.

[oak]

Well done.

What I’ve found, in both my current counseling experience and becoming estranged from my parents, is that the truth has a way of just popping out of our mouths.

Like you, the truth comes out with a sigh, not a raised voice.

[Beany Boo]

[Beany Boo]

I bought a ham and cheese toasted and a white coffee for breakfast on the way to work. I deliberately only ate and drank half. I was full! I threw the rest in the trash.

I feel like I’ve discovered the key to the matrix. I also feel not bloated. I also feel like I’m giving the middle finger to the force feeding my parents gave me. I’ve never not finished a meal, until today.

Strong.

[manuel_moe_g]

I also feel not bloated. I also feel like I’m giving the middle finger to the force feeding my parents gave me. I’ve never not finished a meal, until today.

This is fantastic! Such great stuff, Beany

[oak]

I also feel not bloated. I also feel like I’m giving the middle finger to the force feeding my parents gave me. I’ve never not finished a meal, until today.

This is fantastic! Such great stuff, Beany

Word.

Agreed with our dear friend Manuel Moe.

[RightInTwo]

I love this!!! Congrats on all of your “ta-da”s!!!

I hope I can start speaking my truth more, and do it in the “sigh” like you described, and not in my usual way, with defenses raised ALL the way, and anger simmering just beneath the surface. It’s no wonder my relationship feels somewhat superficial at times.

[Beany Boo]

Thank you

[Beany Boo]

There are 3 women. They’re in different parts of my life. I recently discovered that the last of the 3, like the other 2, struggles with anxiety. They’re all outwardly, remarkably strong, highly functioning women and exhibit no outward signs of anxiety. I’m also aware that my presence helps each of them. Knowing that feels amazing.

[rivergirl]

This is awesome, Beany.

Your presence here on the forum has also certainly helped me and I'm sure quite a few other women.

rg