snoringdog wrote: ↑August 4th, 2023, 6:15 am
Good job Oak! (Your action, not your position
)
Thank you, SnoringDog. My conscience is clear, now.
I hope you're doing well.
At the risk of sounding off-topic, here is what surprises me: many people in our society are willing to go way out of their way to not address simple but difficult questions. In this case, my question is "Why did this request for sensitive data not go through the prescribed channels?".
Another example
I've confided in three people that I've experienced sexual harrassment.
An ordinary, non-insane person would say "I'm sorry to hear that", and probably leave it at that.
Would you believe each of these three people gave me the same questions:
"Are you
sure you were sexually harrassed? What happened?"
Now, to their credit, one of these people immediately regretted asking me, apologized, and stated why their question was insensitive and offensive (I accepted their apology). This person, who has a strong and healthy conscience, demonstrates that conscience know when they are wrong: their conscience tells them.
Rant about "family secrets"
I'm rambling, but here's what I'm getting at:
* My work situation
* My estrangement from my parents
* The subject of the excellent (and infuritating) podcast The Retrievals
* The buried/exposed hurts resolved in the charming podcast Heavyweight
* Many other examples, often involving "family secrets"
All of the above could be solved with thirty seconds of direct, honest, unsparing declarative statements.
Example:
I might well not be estranged from my parents had they had the courage that I, frankly, demonstrated today:
"Oak, we see with our own eyes that you disassociated, just now (2021), right in front of us when your sister, our daughter, let her loose dogs jump on you. We know that you have childhood trauma from loose dogs jumping on you (since we, your parents, allowed it happen right in front of our eyes, in 1981, when you were five). We will discuss this current situation with your sister, and it will never happen again."
How hard is that to say?
Not fun, to be sure, but it is plain as day.