"I am nothing, I am a nobody", revisited

[Mental Fairy]

How you feeling Manuel Moe, you doing ok?

[manuel_moe_g]

Something has come up in my family, I am very far from OK, but I am managing, bit by bit, step by step. I and my little family will survive, but it is a trying time.

[oak]

Something has come up in my family, I am very far from OK, but I am managing, bit by bit, step by step. I and my little family will survive, but it is a trying time.

Manuel Moe, I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing difficult times.

We are here for you. Post as often as you like.

[Mental Fairy]

Oh Manuel Moe I’m sorry your having a difficult time. We are here for you if needed.

[manuel_moe_g]

I can't get into specifics, because it is not my story to share.

When you love someone, their pain is felt like your own pain, but double. I wish I could just take on their pain.

At least they know that they are not alone, that no matter what happens, there will always be someone in their corner.

So just waiting for the second shoe to drop.

I wish I could cry, I am pretty sure the medication robbed me of that emotional release.

[snoringdog]

Hello Manny,

I'm sorry. I know how it feels not to be able to cry.

Whatever the trouble, you're a perceptive and compassionate person to come to, and to lean on.

And we are here for you too.

Take care,

SD

[Beany Boo]

I know how it sounds but these might help when crying feels unsafe.

Quiet gentle consistent moaning. It feels contrived but you still engage in a primal expression of suffering. Possibly the origin of singing?

Trembling and teeth chattering. Prolonged but easeful trembling in the shoulders and wrists. Teeth chattering particularly while relaxing the jaw on the out breath. This can be a genuine whistle on the pressure cooker of primal terror if practiced in short bursts regularly. Trembling seems to work effectively on the vegas nerve to unwind chronic stress and anxiety.

There’s a short term therapy based on trembling to relieve vegas nerve related tension - the name escapes me. Based on my own experience with concerted gentle trembling practice during crisis I would recommend it. You particularly notice its effects on thinking and breathing an hour or so after.

[manuel_moe_g]

Thank you Oak, Mental Fairy, SnoringDog, and the Zen Master Mister Boo!

I feel so good having you guys in my corner!

Quiet gentle consistent moaning. It feels contrived but you still engage in a primal expression of suffering. Possibly the origin of singing?
[...]
There’s a short term therapy based on trembling to relieve vegas nerve related tension[...]

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/vagus-nerve-stimulation/#:~:text=Your%20vagus%20nerve%20is%20connected,listening%20to%20calm%2C%20soothing%20music.

I think I will do the humming and the gentle moaning. I have to get this grief out. I will do it in a way that is safe.

I and a person that I love are in a bit of a precarious situation, because of someone that I also love, they have a troubling and explosive anger. Waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I manage my own anger. I can only do it with weekly therapy, to keep away from resentments building. It is a great deal of work.

I wish I could repair all this with a magic wand.

[manuel_moe_g]

already i am being abused, and abused more when i walk away from somebody abusing me. and the other shoe hasn't even dropped yet. somebody who i love, they love their temper tantrums more than they love me. hate is stronger than love

[manuel_moe_g]

if i am being abused, say i am being abused out loud, but stay calm

if still being abused, walk away, but stay calm

i hope i can stay calm

my life is small because of my mental diseases and mental challenges and my general circumstances

i can mourn that the life i dreamt of is not my life

i cannot cry, but i can go through the motions of crying, so let <something> <anything> out