YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hey guys,

No one is a perfect driver. I try my best to be as careful of a driver as I can be. I try to forgive people when they make mistakes--we all make small mistakes on the road. I admit, when I was a miserable human being, I used to honk at cars when they would make mistakes. I don't do that anymore. I know I should be more compassionate and understanding to people who have road rage, because I've been there myself. But man, it just hurts when you make an honest, very small mistake and another car honks and honks like I've killed a member of their family or something...

I have been screamed at by men when it was another person's fault and it has really traumatized me. Do men yell because I'm a woman? Even at a small fender bender where the other guy ran into me, he would ignore me when I tried to talk to him and blamed me for "scratching his car."

I'm terrified to drive because of these road ragers. I mean, I KNOW how people drive and you've got to just let it go because you're not a perfect driver yourself. Something happens when you are behind the wheel. People get very egotistical and they think they are better than other cars.

I'm sure they have a lot of stress and people have issues, so they take it out on other cars--I get it. But it really hurts to be on the receiving end of a road rage...

Thanks for listening, you guys.

Love,
Brooke

Please be gentle to yourself Brooke. Try not to let these crummy guy get you down. You deserve better. Take care, all the best.

Hi Brooke,
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. These guys are absolutely looking for someone to dump their rage on and it has nothing to do with you or what you've done. You don't deserve it.
Heather

Hello Brooke,

I'm sorry to hear about this happening to you. Being yelled at is hard under any circumstances, but in the aftermath of a jarring accident/incident it's even worse. It's hard not to take it personally, but in reality it's just a chance encounter by two random strangers, right? Doesn't reflect on your identity or worth as a person...

Driving is becoming a real problem. People are so stressed and distracted, and many don't even follow the basic rules anymore. Tonight I was in the center lane doing about 55 ~60 when a guy blew past me on the right going at least 80 mph. Felt like he came close to clipping me too, and he seemed just on the edge of losing stability as I saw him rocketing forward.

Another incident, same trip... I'm at a green light waiting to turn left, and waiting for pedestrians who have the Walk light to pass from the middle of the intersection to the far curb. Several cars behind me were honking, but they can't see what I'm seeing, so the hell with them, they can wait...

When driving in the city especially around pedestrians, I've made it a habit to roll down the window and stick my arm out, especially when it's raining, or dark, or visibility is poor. Helps me to be better aware of what's going on.

The reason? - My neighbor actually killed a pedestrian in our town while he was turning left a couple of years ago. We had to drive down to pick him up and bring him home. It was a terrible confluence of factors - green light for the left-turning cars, a simultaneous Walk light for the pedestrians, late summer sun low on the horizon and my neighbor ensconsed in his air-conditioned vehicle with the radio on. Also a fluke where the pedestrian seems to have hit the pavement in exactly the wrong way...

This obviously deeply affected the neighbor and all of us who witnessed it.
Made a promise to myself not to let it happen to me if I can help it...

Wouldn't it be nice if we could take a train to work, or something?
And maybe some day the self-driving cars will take care of some of this...!

Take care.

SD

Hey, Manuel

Thank you so much for your kind words. You are always replying to people and I admire that so much. You have so much love to give and we all appreciate it!!

Love, Brooke

Hey Heather,

Thank you for replying and making me feel so supported!! I see you around a lot and I love the warm support you give to our other friends here. I appreciate the time you took the time to reply.

Love,
Brooke

Hey snoringdog,

Thank you so much for writing a long, heartfelt message... I truly appreciate it!!
And thanks to all of your stories around the same topic. I am so sorry to hear that there was horrible accident with your neighbor... I really respect how careful of a driver you are!!

I live in a city where there are trains and subways, but they have a host of problems that make me anxious and sick...

Yeah, the self-driving cars would be a dream!!!

Thanks so much, snoringdog. You made me feel like I was not alone and that means the world to me. You have a special place in my heart.

Love,
Brooke

Hello Brooke,

What can I say, I'm a little embarassed, but thanks...

Remember how exciting it was to drive when we first got licenses?

But now, mostly a chore, and for me, sometimes my heart sinks when I think about the commute.

One small thing that's cool is when you let someone in cut in and they wave, or flick their lights in acknowledgement.... Truckers and bus drivers do this all the time, and it's great. Helps to remember that there are "real people" out there....

BTW - didn't think it was appropriate last time to include this, but sorry, I can't help it...

here it is...







SD

You are not alone indeed, Brooke!

These are difficult matters, and you are handling them with grace and sensitivity. You're a real human.