YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hey everyone,
the bowl of chips is out, and it's time for a dance party! If you only have the energy to tap a toe, that's okay. Hope to see you there.
On the playlist:

Aretha-Natural Woman (my heart was in the lost and found...you came along to claim it)
If I had a million dollars- BNL (all the fanciest Dijon ketchup)
Low Rider by War (do do do do do do dooooo)

Hope everyone is doing okay.
Heather

Yay, yes!

Great choices.

We deserve to relax.

I’m tired to my bones. But my chosen mix of activities (origami, ukulele, book club, bird & bee watching, anti-racism, womens’ rights, Pilates) seem to be enough to infuse the tiredness with music and energy. Aretha is a great outlet for that.

You all keeping it real in the forum certainly balances out some of the messiness I encounter day to day.

Ah BNL: I see you are a person of culture!

The perfect compliment, at that time, for a thinking person’s pop. Put more bluntly, perfect for an over-thinking 20-something circa 1997.

I love the Rock Spectacle album, especially “Jane”, “What a good boy”, and “Break your heart”.

In honor of you, HH, I watched the peak 90s video of “What a good boy”.

https://youtu.be/_i0yZTeTZ4Q

Most importantly Heather,

How’s the new role?

Yes! Yes!

We support you, and value hearing how you are doing.

Thanks for asking Beany Boo! The response off the top of my head...oh boy.

Everything is as would be expected. There's mistrust of the outsider and lack of support and direction from above. I knew these going in, so they're not a big shock, but they are certainly an energy drain and require self care at the end of the workweek. I'm getting energy from the part I love, how do we work within rules, know when to work outside rules, and how can I support when there's nothing that can be done. I've had some show of support in private and that helps.

Another thing, and I wonder if you experience this too, BB, is the myth of Hawkeye Pierce from MASH (here I will be NorthAmerica-centric and assume you know this show and character). The myth is that expressing your sadness and fear as anger and impulsiveness is being a good leader. Seriously, dude, spend 2 minutes talking to pharma about meds and maybe save the patient some liver damage down the road instead of just grabbing the thing nearest to you! So I don't fit that mold of the healthcare superstar. And that can be seen as weak. It will take some time to show I am effective in my own less dramatic style.

Heather

Oak, the Ladies are such a unique mix of downright silly and profound. I don't know quite how they pulled it off! That video is indeed the peak of 90's perfection.
Every so often I'll hear Call and Answer and be floored by the beauty of it. And of course Pinch Me with the most relatable line ever...On an evening such as this, it's hard to tell if I exist...

Hooray!

Yes, a lot of drama. I feel like it goes against your policy of mutual support, I think you’d agree.

It’s complicated. I think Hawkeye being a principled leader in the midst of chaos, concerned about the welfare of those around him is what made him interesting. But today, his character is also covered by your description of him. I think some people definitely use his example to justify histrionics and recklessness.

The way I short circuit drama is, I use the child/adult/parent model. I don’t know it’s proper name but it’s very helpful. It’s says that we relate to each other in one of three ways; child to parent, adult to adult, parent to child.

Co-workers and clients relentlessly pull you into a dynamic where you’re essentially parenting them. A recipe for drama. Managers do it too! Bringing them back to an adult to adult interaction is how I deal with it.

Being an adult is weirdly simple. It’s about turn taking and topic maintenance.

Thanks for that advice, BeanyBoo! That rings so true. I'm going to look into it further.
Now tell me about origami. The paper, how you decide what to fold, what it brings to you...

Agreed!

And, to the extent that you are willing, I’d be glad to hear your ukele playing. (Perhaps an anonymous SoundCloud?)

And lest you think you are bad, I’ll be glad to share my heartfelt tries at guitar here; and objectively (other than arpeggios) I suck! You literally can’t be any worse than me