My abuser walks free and unrepentant: I must be ready.

[oak]

Edit 1: TW violence

Edit 2: Mods, feel free to delete if this violates the TOS. I'll understand.

****

Inspired by the courage of our friend Heather, who wrote so well and illustrated so distressingly a parade of violations of her dignity, imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, so I'd like to talk about another kind of violence from cis men: violence of the person.

Simply stated:

My abuser, who I would press charges of assault and batter today were the statute of limitations not expired, walks free and unrepentant of his crimes against my person and dignity.

I must prepare should he try again. I will not be a victim a second time.

I have never, and will never, start a fight: having trained in friendly and structured practice, I know the power of even of the "simple" moves of the following:

I will continue to train in tai chi and sport taekwando to improve my flexibility and reflexes until such time as I can resume Brazilian Jijisu.

Again, I will never seek a fight, and will always try to avoid one. Unfortunately my abuser has proven, again and again, that he is ready to violate my person. I must be ready.

[manuel_moe_g]

I like this. Only one correction: this is your attempted abuser, who makes attempts against your dignity and person. Your subsequent actions listed in this post show that the attempt was not successful. If we could judge both of you, who would win in "is an exemplar of human dignity and possession of self?" To ask the question is to answer it.

Take care, and keep us informed about your work to increase your capabilities in self-defense.

[oak]

Thank you, Manuel Moe, for two reasons, for your kind post, which are two sides of the same coin:

1. Thank you for the human warmth, to encourage me.
2. Thank you for the calm, measured, cool, prepared side of manhood: to be ready, however regretfully, to protect our bodies and dignity.

I am glad to know that this isn't just in my head, that a sober, together person can observe what I'm thinking, and that my plan is reasonable and rational.

It is difficult to talk about violence.

[manuel_moe_g]

Less about violence more about how a self-actualized man sustains his dignity via developed physical capabilities

more power to you

[Heatherwantspeace]

Agreed. This is about letting your abuser know you are ready to protect what is sacred and precious. Often, this will lead to a decrease in violence as they will know not to start any assaults on you, or they will be put to a stop.
This is not revenge, it's protection. It feels appropriate to me.
Heather