Using my words: family secrets.
Posted: September 15th, 2020, 9:57 am
I am about to stir up some trouble in my family.
I have good reason to believe that, for my immediate family (me, and three sisters who already have children), there is a recessive gene that bypassed my generation and has affected the next generation (my nieces and nephews).
This recessive gene's disease is not visible, but is fairly to pretty serious. While I know the broadest sense of the symptoms, I don't know the specific name of the disorder(s).
Were I to marry a young woman, who wanted children, and not tell her, it would a disease to the level that such a woman would be very well justified in divorcing me. I'd also be wary to date a woman, who wanted children, and not tell her about this.
However, short of genetic testing (a possibility I'd consider) I can't be certain we carry this recessive gene.
I brought this question up to my mother, who I've had a strained relationship with, and my mother told me not to bring up this topic, ask about it, or discuss it further.
In other words, her family secrets are more important than a foundational part of her prospective daughter in law's happiness and peace of mind.
Go to hell, Oak, and screw you, in other words.
For unrelated reasons I'm making an appointment with a urologist soon, and I may want to discuss a vasectomy with this urologist. (I have numerous reasons to consider a vasectomy, and I realize how doing so would effect my marriage chances. I am indifferent to having children, but if I fell in love with a woman I wouldn't want to disappoint her, should she passionately want children.)
I know this is a lot. I am trying to sort out my thoughts.
I'm considering asking my sisters what the name of the disease is, so I can have something to discuss with a urologist or (more likely) a genetic counselor or (most likely) Dr. Google.
I suppose I can gain more knowledge, and more professional knowledge, about talking with the urologist in general about vasectomies.
More broadly, I'm astonished at the hatred and indifference my mother demonstrates for me and a future daughter in law. Family secrets are god to my mother. Where is her humanity? How does someone get so twisted?
I have good reason to believe that, for my immediate family (me, and three sisters who already have children), there is a recessive gene that bypassed my generation and has affected the next generation (my nieces and nephews).
This recessive gene's disease is not visible, but is fairly to pretty serious. While I know the broadest sense of the symptoms, I don't know the specific name of the disorder(s).
Were I to marry a young woman, who wanted children, and not tell her, it would a disease to the level that such a woman would be very well justified in divorcing me. I'd also be wary to date a woman, who wanted children, and not tell her about this.
However, short of genetic testing (a possibility I'd consider) I can't be certain we carry this recessive gene.
I brought this question up to my mother, who I've had a strained relationship with, and my mother told me not to bring up this topic, ask about it, or discuss it further.
In other words, her family secrets are more important than a foundational part of her prospective daughter in law's happiness and peace of mind.
Go to hell, Oak, and screw you, in other words.
For unrelated reasons I'm making an appointment with a urologist soon, and I may want to discuss a vasectomy with this urologist. (I have numerous reasons to consider a vasectomy, and I realize how doing so would effect my marriage chances. I am indifferent to having children, but if I fell in love with a woman I wouldn't want to disappoint her, should she passionately want children.)
I know this is a lot. I am trying to sort out my thoughts.
I'm considering asking my sisters what the name of the disease is, so I can have something to discuss with a urologist or (more likely) a genetic counselor or (most likely) Dr. Google.
I suppose I can gain more knowledge, and more professional knowledge, about talking with the urologist in general about vasectomies.
More broadly, I'm astonished at the hatred and indifference my mother demonstrates for me and a future daughter in law. Family secrets are god to my mother. Where is her humanity? How does someone get so twisted?