Bookending: Zoom interview Wednesday.
Posted: September 23rd, 2020, 7:58 am
Hi friends. Can I bookend (share feelings before and after difficult conversation)?
1. Yay for having a Zoom interview.
2. Exhaustion and anxiety.
3. Guilt for feeling exhaustion and anxiety.
4. What I can do to prepare for interview.
5. Offer myself the same grace I've offered others, here
6. Next steps
1. Yay
Out of the blue, a contact at my previous employer (a big, rich institution) emailed me, encouraging me to apply for a position. While I have the transferable skills (data, reporting, compliance), I have zero knowledge of the content. I applied for it, and I have a Zoom interview today. Yay!
2.Exhaustion and anxiety-paralysis
First up, this terrifies me. I am finding it hard to do anything to prepare (see below), including post here. This is all exhausting.
3. Guilt for the same
Millions of Americans would be glad for an interview. They'd be ecstatic for a white collar job that pays a living wage and good benefits.
However, feeling guilty won't help any of these millions. What will help is move me from my (legal and moral) unemployment benefits to paying back into unemployment. Ergo:
4. What I can do
The Zoom interview is 2 hours. What I can't control: if the person is interviewing me out of obligation (ie someone fairly high up "encouraged" or "advised" him to contact me. I also can't control if he and I click.
What I can control:
a. Clothes: With less than 24 hours notice, I immediately went to Walmart to buy a shirt and tie. In my haste I neglected to get a wrinkle free shirt, but I did my best in the moment, and took immediate action. I considered looking at the local thrift store for a blazer (they have gorgeous men's coats!), but I didn't have time. I am enough.
b. I can situation my laptop, and check for lighting, etc.
c. I can fill out a CBT form, for my anxiety.
d. While I have zero experience with the subject matter of the position, I can aim for a narrow victory, namely that I succeeded, and got along with people (people we know in common) and with sensitive data, at the institution.
I tell myself: "In addition to being good practice for interviewing, I can simply view this as a chance to have a conversation with a recent colleague."
5. Offer myself the same grace I've offered others in this forum
None of us have ever survived a pandemic.
This is my first ever interview during a pandemic. Speaking in coherent sentences is a great success. I can let go of everything else.
6. Next steps
I'll post here later today about how the interview went, and how I did with effecting the above.
Please send some courage and light-ness vibes!
1. Yay for having a Zoom interview.
2. Exhaustion and anxiety.
3. Guilt for feeling exhaustion and anxiety.
4. What I can do to prepare for interview.
5. Offer myself the same grace I've offered others, here
6. Next steps
1. Yay
Out of the blue, a contact at my previous employer (a big, rich institution) emailed me, encouraging me to apply for a position. While I have the transferable skills (data, reporting, compliance), I have zero knowledge of the content. I applied for it, and I have a Zoom interview today. Yay!
2.Exhaustion and anxiety-paralysis
First up, this terrifies me. I am finding it hard to do anything to prepare (see below), including post here. This is all exhausting.
3. Guilt for the same
Millions of Americans would be glad for an interview. They'd be ecstatic for a white collar job that pays a living wage and good benefits.
However, feeling guilty won't help any of these millions. What will help is move me from my (legal and moral) unemployment benefits to paying back into unemployment. Ergo:
4. What I can do
The Zoom interview is 2 hours. What I can't control: if the person is interviewing me out of obligation (ie someone fairly high up "encouraged" or "advised" him to contact me. I also can't control if he and I click.
What I can control:
a. Clothes: With less than 24 hours notice, I immediately went to Walmart to buy a shirt and tie. In my haste I neglected to get a wrinkle free shirt, but I did my best in the moment, and took immediate action. I considered looking at the local thrift store for a blazer (they have gorgeous men's coats!), but I didn't have time. I am enough.
b. I can situation my laptop, and check for lighting, etc.
c. I can fill out a CBT form, for my anxiety.
d. While I have zero experience with the subject matter of the position, I can aim for a narrow victory, namely that I succeeded, and got along with people (people we know in common) and with sensitive data, at the institution.
I tell myself: "In addition to being good practice for interviewing, I can simply view this as a chance to have a conversation with a recent colleague."
5. Offer myself the same grace I've offered others in this forum
None of us have ever survived a pandemic.
This is my first ever interview during a pandemic. Speaking in coherent sentences is a great success. I can let go of everything else.
6. Next steps
I'll post here later today about how the interview went, and how I did with effecting the above.
Please send some courage and light-ness vibes!