YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hi friends. Here is a metaphorical ten-foot pole, which I will clearly use to avoid any discussion of the content, or personalities of the following. I speak strictly of the media coverage, and the divisiveness and toxicity of the same. Here goes.

I think the next six weeks could be devastating to my mental health.

I deleted Reddit from my phone, and I want to be very careful of any media consumption now through November. Doomscrolling is a demonstrated threat to my mental health.

I have enough problems, and opportunities, in my personal life to take all my time; I can't spend energy on toxic, divisive stuff.

Divisiveness reached my family: today my parents and I agreed not to discuss politics any further. (I'm increasingly realizing I can't get along with my mother about anything, especially not something as divisive as 2020.)

All contents of politics aside, as my friends do you encourage me to effect self care?

(In practice "self-care" for me means: walking in the sunshine, taekwando, tai chi, seeing the pretty girls at the coffee shop.)

Please advise. Thanks!

Walking in the sun sounds much better and healthier than doomscrolling. Take care of yourself. The news is something you cannot control and if it stirs up unhealthy feelings in you let it go for 6 weeks. it will go on without you.

I agree, Oak. I've never experienced a time when politics and media seemed quite this polarized and toxic. Please take care of yourself as best you can.

No, I encourage you to doomscroll but, if you can’t keep it going, I’ll be okay. If you can’t doomscroll at every opportunity then maybe take some risks. Not life changing ones though. Time wasting is the next stage. Take the long way, take more time to speak; more pauses. Maybe tell a lie. Then admit to it. I do recommend growing a moustache. Trimming that can take up hours. Keep something alive; a tiny house plant but only one.

All you have to do is stop boredom from escalating into fear and loathing. It’s about using activity to switch you to a different part of the brain. Usually, open-ended activity you can pick up and put down at will, that develops, takes different forms and has little consequence if you don’t continue. If you can do that for 50 years you’ll probably become an expert at something and provide a space for x number of other people to live.

Doomscrolling is keeping something at bay, that it’s not your job to restrain.

I think I’ve said this before, being able to say to others, “stop”, without providing justification is a super-power. It’s also a sign you can walk away every time you have had enough; had your fill.

Oak, I love this plan. I have one thought. How about ONE reliable news source, perhaps one from another country? I like the UK Guardian or CBC from Canada. I haven't checked out BBC in awhile. American journalism has a stake in the game, and while the others certainly have their bias, there is less inflammatory garbage.
Heather

Thank you, my dear friends, for standing by me, and so generously giving advice and encouragement. These are extremely difficult times, and your counsel has brought me sanity. I have effected each of your advice.

Here is a truth:

I am in love with someone.

And I know this person has been attracted to me. And I know the exact actions I effected that attracted this person to me.

And I'm conducting a job search. And there is a global pandemic. And anxiety has given me GERD and obesity has given me sleep apnea. Each of these is a crisis that demands my attention.

All of those will be stymied by me getting bitter or angry (though, were I to be honest, love is all I care about).

If I am going to win this person, anger and bitterness will ruin my chances. Ergo, I'll get away from the angry vibe from the news, and focus on me, and winning this prize.

And this person is a prize.

This person is not a prize but a person. Hopefully, she desires a great guy in her life. Best of luck to you.

Well said, Brownblob, and true: she is a whole person, complex and dynamic. Pursuing her by improving myself is a worthy ideal. Should my suiting prove successful, as a full human she can consent, or not. It is up to her.

In the meantime, I am getting more vigorous, and cashiers and baristas are noticing me. The one woman was flustered and speechless when talking with me the other day. I didn't know I had that power.

So, to conclude this thread: there will be lots of opportunity for upset and strife in the next six weeks. I can choose to focus on what I can control: my job search, preparing my dojang, and preparing for the taekwando tournament later this month.

Though the bait will tempting and ever-present, I'll try to avoid the negative vibes.

Thanks for listening, friends!