YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Had a thought that rocked my mind (my tiny, little mind)

What if I am <already> doing the best I can, given my challenges?

Or, more precisely, there <has to be> a non-zero chance that I am already doing the best I can, given my challenges?

What follows logically from that? Well, I should be compassionate with myself, in that case.

But it is also true that self-compassion is the key for real self-improvement that can be <sustained>. Because anyone can beat themselves up to gain a little improvement that just leads to a crash and a setback that makes the little improvement look like a joke.

So, no matter what, self-compassion is key, so lead with that.

What is the 2nd key to sustained self-improvement?

Well, it would be having more times during day when can make choice with perspective, mindfulness inside of a time where there is a gap between stimulus and response. A lot to unpack there, but not too complicated.

This is what I will discuss with my therapist today. But I wanted to post something here now because this is such a radical new thought for me.

Manuel Moe thank you for sharing. I’m glad you did.

Everything you wrote sounds true and good.

Please do let us know what your therapist says. I’ll look forward to hearing, with interest.

It’s ironic.

Who you are now has already been doing the best he can.

If you ease off and let him be and find compassion for him regardless, the improvements you seek may come without trying.

wow, intense stuff during therapy session

next week I will talk about my therapist's positive definition of Risk

i admit that i currently have a negative definition of Risk: risk + bad luck = loss

i am in kinda a rush right now: let me just keep typing

i created a concept called Super-Choice

Super-Choice is [[ a Choice with perspective, mindfulness inside of a time where there is a gap between stimulus and response (somehow intention and risking is part too) ]]

intention: means stepping away from habitual actions

risking: means actions I can take now because I finally see myself as worthy

that is a mouthful, but so important, so my shorthand way of saying all that is to call it Super-Choice

kinda was in rush with therapist, but she said that the best way to summon more Super-Choices into my life is:

[*] to work as a team: my-real-current-self + my-younger-self

[*] "pray" for self-compassion: have my my-real-current-self + my-younger-self ask for self-compassion in English as a 3rd person "him" statement, a 2nd person "you" statement, and a 1st person "I" statement (don't worry, will give concrete examples later)

[*] "pray" for more super-choices in my life: have my my-real-current-self + my-younger-self ask for Super-Choices in English as a 3rd person "him" statement, a 2nd person "you" statement, and a 1st person "I" statement

ok, what else

treating myself fairly has led to less anger during the week

"faking it before i make it" by standing up, standing more straight, and moving -> has led to less depression

lastly, what about "knowing my voice matters": in times when I feel the urge to sacrifice my voice because somebody I love is being belligerent, request a pause, if not honored then request a pause again, if still disrespected say "right now I want to hear you but i cannot because i am just too uncomfortable by the way you are speaking to me"

so what will I practice this week:

[*] the praying with my younger self to manifest more self-compassion

[*] the praying with my younger self to manifest more Super-Choices

[*] "faking it before i make it" by standing up, standing more straight, and moving -> to have less depression

[*] requesting pauses when dealing with a loved-one who can be belligerent

...which may be too much to practice in a single week (Ha!) but lets see

Well said.

Please do keep us updated as to your progress in the coming week.

Exercise in self-compassion:

imagining my current-self hugging my younger-self, and saying "it is alright, i know life is hard when you have so many challenges"

Exercise in manifesting more Super-Choices:

imagining my current-self and my younger-self holding hands, saying in a prayerful way "i manifest Super-Choices in my life"

Exercise in lessening depression:

walking straighter, head tilted more up

it is one thing to say, it is another thing to do

today wasn't as productive as i would have liked

be compassionate with myself

so easy to lose the thread of mindfulness

slow down

good time to take a walk

forgive yourself

use self-compassion exercise

using "Super-Choice" as my trigger, I am amazed how difficult it is to keep it in the forefront of my mind.

So easy to slip into deep grooves of habitual action.

Self-compassion.

Just hang on, Manuel Moe:

You have a good plan
You have the support of your therapist and us, here
You have all of your innate qualities: your motivation and desire to improve.

That’s a lot.

Just hang in there for the rest of today.