YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

1. "I don't have (romantic) love, but I have Heath bars"

-A thought I had a few days ago; I order 18-pack boxes of Heath and take about a month to go through each box.

This isn't so much a lie, as much as a sad truth.

2. "If I had to choose between dating [beautiful, kind, smart woman I know] and the extremely satisfying sub sandwich dressing/oil, I'd choose the sub sandwich with salami and oil."

-A thought I had a moment ago

This is definitely not true.

3. "If I was told I could never drink alcohol again, I wouldn't mind. If I was told I couldn't eat candy or really-carby treats any longer, I'd be devastated."

-Yet another recent thought, but this is actually true. I miss the taste of certain alcohol (I quit for good in '08, before the quality, bougie alcohol came out!), but I don't want to imagine a life without Reeses Peanut Butter cups, cornbread, and my weekly cinnamon donut.

4. "In heaven I want to have a really good gin and tonic. And a good cider, and a good cherry lambic. Just one each, one last time, to satisfy me for eternity."

- I claim not to believe in heaven, though secretly I desperately want to. Or at least some alternative to this lonely life.

Lies have costs, but considering I need specific lies to make it through the day, I try to choose them carefully. I have a deep nihilistic streak.

oh man, this topic is dangerous for me

i, on a gut level, believe that food can help fix any mood i am in

that is a dangerous thought

also, on a gut level, i resent that my wife nags me about my overeating

wow, that is a rough one

i don't have to list 4 things, those 2 things are evil enough right there

90 pounds overweight with bad knees, i am in a dangerous place

they opened a dave's hot nashville chicken sandwich near my house, this may be my undoing but actually

I think about eating 24/7. Even sometimes when I'm eating, I think about what I'm going to eat next. This is my life.

It’s curious and interesting that you frame these as lies. They read like emotional truths; about the depth of your longing. Eating is a primordial instinct. It’s a way to tether yourself to life, and the present.

It is difficult to process emotion without sufficient nourishment. It can also be overwhelming to eat nourishing food because often the first thing your body does is begin processing stored up sadness.

Ironically, people are drawn to sadness expressed well.

You've made good statements.

I have a lot of empathy for you regarding this issue, Oak, Manny, and remarks.

I've been struggling with unhealthy eating more as quarantine has continued. I alternate between eating mostly healthy vegetarian meals but then overeating fast food in my car after work and snacking too much in the evenings.

I wasn't overweight for the first 38 years of my life, but gained a lot the year before my husband left me and afterward, and have never been able to lose that despite too many rounds of weight watchers, Noom, etc.

Aah the little lies we tell ourselves! I have to be careful with this too, and watch it doesn't spread into more insidious beliefs. But really, there's nothing wrong with a bit of comic diversion is there?

In any case, Food is Love for me too. Must be a family thing.