YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

productivity strategy by paying attention to who is in the driver's seat

[**] Ask "who is in the driver's seat?". Just asking the question seems to insert an interruption, and an opportunity for something different

[**] <ME> hops into the driver's seat

<ME> is my higher self, my integrated self

<ME> values my future self, so wants to be more productive, in a gentle, compassionate way

[**] then i say "who <was> just now in the driver's seat?"

[**] then <validate> and <acknowledge> the feeling or thought or whatever was in the driver's seat, as I gently make sure they are safe in the back seat

not to <wallow> in it, that is not what validating and acknowledging is all about

there is a <beginning>, a <middle>, and an <end> to the feeling or thought

[**] then with reassurance, say "thank you for the signal, give me signal from back seat, but not from driver's seat", "don't worry, I got this"

[**] gently, compassionately perform next task

Yes, interrupting thoughts: very helpful.

Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, so I'm going to "borrow" some of these ideas/actions.

Hello Oak!

Who do you think is habitually in the driver's seat of your mind?

For me, it would be avoidance, trying to keep me safe from anxiety attached to my tasks, so it wastes time avoiding all tasks. Wasting time with internet browsing and snacking.

The anxiety is an illusion, really, if I buckle down, there is no anxiety there that I can't power through.

I can be productive enough if I am gentle to myself. Also helps the knowledge that "I am enough".

This is a great question.

‘Certainty’ for me.

An absolute certainty about what is really happening, even if that has an aura of horror about it.

I guess the way I respond to it is to reason that I am the most important person in the world (yes) while saying to myself ‘I don’t have to be enough, I never have’.

If I detach from certainty (both good and bad) I can make it to a comfortable distance. I think at a particular moment stress tricks you into engaging. It’s not certain that you have to.

There’s another element, other people don’t have to be ‘enough’ either. So I can spend a lot less time trying to make them ‘work’.

Things will still happen if I hold on less tightly to certainty. I just have to trust I’ll respond in my own interest.

manuel_moe_g wrote: ↑June 10th, 2021, 9:48 am Hello Oak!

Who do you think is habitually in the driver's seat of your mind?

Hi Manuel Moe. My estimation:

30% HALT (making up these constituent parts: Hungry10%, Angry 5%, Lonely 60%, Tired 30%)
20% Grief
40% A will to live
10% Appetites: For sunshine, for women, for rich and sweet food

And hey, you stick with that Pomodoro system: it has gotten me out of more than one mental health bind. Wasting time and snacking can indeed take away so much time.