YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I want to end my life.

I don’t think I’ve wanted anything more in my entire life.

Everything feels broken and unfixable.

I don’t have what it takes mentally or physically to change any of this.

I’m sorry I’m so vague. I don’t know why I started to type with no strength to finish it.

Please, immediately call 211 or 911 and tell them what you told us.

Help is available. Make that call now.

The pain is real, but depression lies to us about how long this very intense pain will last.

Go to somewhere safe. Be safe.

Text HOME to 686868 in Canada to text with a trained Crisis Responder.

Please stay with us, keep the lines of communication open.

RocketShip,

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. I've been suicidal before and there's ZERO pleasure in it. Just know that we are here for you and wish you all the best. Things WILL get better...if you allow your life to continue. This may be your worst moment, but you've yet to live your best.

Everything is broken and unfixable.

But you didn’t break it and you don’t have to fix it; no matter what you’ve heard. You’ve just walk in recently, on something that’s been happening for a long time.

Just participate as and how you can.

Your simple participation is appreciated; at the very least by me; a like-minded friendly.

You also sound super worn out. Has anyone shown you how to rest properly? That probably sounds stupid. I didn’t learn to rest until my late 40’s. If you don’t have the time or energy to rest, that could be a red flag that you’re starving for it.

The more you rest the more your natural brain things kick into gear.

You’re doing great just reaching out.

Anyway.

Thank you everyone. I’m not well. I’m trying to be ok but I’m failing.

Life is extremely hard sometimes, RocketShip. You're not failing, you're just hurting. You don't have to do anything or be anything right now, just take it minute by minute. Please keep reaching out here, to a help line, to a family member or friend, and stay safe.

Hello Rocketship,

Just saw this now. I'm sorry you are in so much pain.
Like physical pain, mental pain narrows down our focus so much that it becomes all we can think about.

I saw this note below in your recent post. Please don't forget that you have supportive people around you. Asking for help is not a one-time thing.

Please - do it again! And we are here to help as well.

SD

I decided then and there to reach out and get help. Seeing as we’re still dealing with covid seeking help was different than I expected but I managed to share my feelings with my family and friends at the very least.

People were much more supportive than I had expected.

Hey Rocketship,

Just an addition to my post yesterday evening. When I said that life is hard, I didn't mean to minimize anything you're going through, or to say that everyone experiences the same level of hardships. I've been dealing with suicidal ideation off an on and it's a terrible and lonely feeling, and the issues that bring a person to this place are rarely ones that can be quickly fixed.

For what it's worth, my main suggestions would be not to pressure yourself to find solutions to any big issues in your life when your mental state feels so fragile, and just do small immediate things you can to take care of yourself. And try not to be afraid to reach out, even if sometimes the response you get isn't ideal. It's possible the very next person you reach out to will be understanding.

You don't deserve to feel this bad, and I'm wishing you some peace and comfort today.

rivergirl

Rocketship, tell us you're still with us, buddy! I'm thinking about you and I'm sure others on here are as well.