to-do lists and procrastination, other topics

[manuel_moe_g]

working on to-do lists and procrastination

if anyone is interested, i can expand on "to-do lists" and "procrastination"

but what i am working on this week are two scary questions:

[1] can i multi-task, or am i unable to multi-task?

[2] can i balance and prioritize, or am i unable to balance and prioritize?

(told you they were scary questions!)

to make them less scary, my therapist suggests this way of thinking of them

[*] being creative, and creating new ways to do both, no matter what i learn about myself and my capabilities

even if it is outside of my capabilities to multi-task, even if it is outside my capabilities to balance and prioritize, i will always have creativity to create new ways of living

[oak]

Thank you for sharing, Manuel Moe.

Let me ask you this:

Is what you wrote about similar to, or adjacent with, executive function?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Executive_functions?wprov=sfti1

[manuel_moe_g]

Hi Oak,

Yes, you nailed it.

I am scared my really-existing executive control is unable to perform the future success I am currently imagining.

My therapist might be steering me toward some scary realizations.

It is not the end of the world, but I am in a peaceful valley right now, and I have a bad feeling I have to climb a scary mountain range to be able to get to the next peaceful valley that I need to be

When you are limited, you have to be creative. But right now I prefer the delusion that I am not limited

[manuel_moe_g]

Thinking about...

[1] I cannot multitask

[2] I cannot balance my life and prioritize

are these statements true?

what does it mean for my life?

[oak]

Manuel Moe, good afternoon.

My two cents follow. Feel free to disregard anything that doesn't ring true.

1. Yes, you can multitask.

2. If I may split hairs about the second question:

Do you mean "I can't balance my life by prioritizing", or "I can't balance my life, and prioritize" (note the comma)?

Perhaps you can see the difference I'm trying to suggest.

Also, if I may offer some thoughts on the scary mountain...

Yes, much like the Erikson stages, you are likely facing something difficult, and for good reason, scary.

The trouble is, and always is, is that it is more dangerous not to face the scary mountain.

Sometimes the safe place is the most dangerous place.

That "safe place" being, of course, the past. The current you.

Your therapist, who is a trained professional, is getting signals, is my guess, from your subconscious (who is in charge of all this anyway).

My advice: trust the process. We are here for you.

I add in a lighthearted manner: It is very easy for me to advise you to go for it, yet I am vastly more circumspect in facing my own scary mountains!

[manuel_moe_g]

The trouble is, and always is, is that it is more dangerous not to face the scary mountain.
Sometimes the safe place is the most dangerous place.

Hello Oak, wow, you said a mouthful!

Wish me good luck as i trek over the mountain range!

[rivergirl]

I couldn't agree more with the danger of the safe place.

Your efforts are admirable, Manny Moe, regardless of the results.

rg

[manuel_moe_g]

Procrastination

not logical, so rooted in trauma

escape trauma to enter into a place where i can use logic

escape trauma by "getting to safety through validating myself"

validating that "i am not feeling good at this moment" & "there is a reason for this trauma (i might not know the reason but i am not crazy and i will figure this one out)"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

i am reading "The Science of Stuck" by Britt Frank https://www.scienceofstuck.com/

She recommends using the third-person instead of the first-person

i will use this more later, just giving advanced warning, because it will be kinda put-off-ish (oh well)

[oak]

Yes, feel free to use third-person. We'll understand.

Keep us posted.

[manuel_moe_g]

"Balance, Priority, Consequence, Courage, Celebrations"

my mantra: "Balance, Priority, Consequence, Courage, Celebrations "

i am on the ADHD spectrum, i am trying to manage this without additional medication

like an alcoholic, day by day, but actually hour by hour, minute by minute

perfection is not to be expected

when knocked down, get up again, is the spirit

Mark Twain: “If the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is eat a live frog, then nothing worse can happen for the rest of the day!” - the theory is to do your most anxiety-giving task first thing - a tool against procrastination