A genially lackadaisical New Years.

[oak]

Hi friends.

While my Christmas proved to be quite the downer, I declare plans for a low-key, easy-like, genially lackadaisical New Years.

To the extent I'm can call them plans, here they are:

1. Do a 5K in my mother's hometown.

In addition to enjoying "the scenery" (and for fitness reasons, I suppose), I'm fixing to go to the site of 4-6 generations (or more?) of generational trauma: my mother's hometown.

Much like the vibe at my Kent State (1970 shootings), I wonder if there are trauma vibes there. Also, my medical testing trauma happened there in 2020.

I'm going to bring some recovery and experience/strength/hope. I'll start to take the narrative back.

2. I am going to watch some Hallmark movies.

Except I don't have cable, I have the good app Tubi. So I'll watch some Hallmark knockoffs.

3. Corrected Buspar dosage.

Having coordinated with my doctor and the pharmacy, I'm back to my 20 mg/day prescription of Buspar. I rarely/never miss a dose, and most days I'm good with 15 mg/day. Though I won't hesitate to take 20 mg/day if indicated, and sometimes the rare 25 mg/day.

I'll post more anon, but in the meantime, I hope everyone enjoys their New Years.

[Mental Fairy]

Look forward to the updates Oak. My main running trail runs parallel to my family grave plot! I literally run past my family and depending on my mood I smile, I say a little something under my breath or I pull the finger!

Be strong

[rivergirl]

Looking forward to hearing how the walk goes if you make it, Oak.

Hoping the combination of Buspar and movies contribute to a good or at least tolerable New Year's eve and weekend.

rg

[oak]

Mental Fairy and RiverGirl!

I didn’t make it to the 5k.

Upon waking I realized I had no spoons: this was going to be a “no bones day”.

I’m having my first Saturday meltdown in some months; my weekends got better thanks to posting about them in this forum, but my number came up today.

I figure that my unconscious knows best, and it was time for a mini-katabasis. Still, this spiritual journey is no fun.

I am, however, finishing up the specifics of my 2023 plan, and frankly this could be the best year of my life.

In the meantime, I’m keeping with the lackadaisical, shambolic ethos of this thread: I am indeed appreciating the corrected Buspar dose, and just trying to hold on until football tomorrow.

I did watch much of a Hallmark knockoff movie, “An Hour Behind”, which was about, of all things, Daylight Savings Time. After a promising first act (mistaken identity!), they lost the thread by the start of the third act (an interminable local cupcake contest).

I am due for a little better luck as I wrap up this thread on Monday!

[Mental Fairy]

Hi oak

You are human and I absolutely love your honesty. Don’t beat yourself up. However, that is easy to say.

Goal setting scares me as I don’t cope well with letting myself down. When I do I am not a nice person to be around, I take myself off to bed and try sleep through it before I take it out on others.

Hang in there, ride the wave and keep us updated