YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Friends, I’d like to discuss my touch starvation.

We can talk about my plans to get to touch-hungry then touch-fulfilled, but for now even admitting to touch-starvation is all I can handle.

Ugh, I know what you mean

it is related to being married and not getting your physical needs met

also, the long long time before i got married

so much pain

wishing you the best, Oak

This tread made me think over the last few days.

Touch is something that I try to avoid if possible from select people. Don’t get me wrong, I am a hugger. However the people I fail to get close to mean the most to me physically. I crave hugs from my family but reject them most as I fear loss. It hurts to hug at times.

For a fleeting moment I tried to imagine my mum hugging me and I recall none, even during the end of her days. My Grampy flooded me with hugs. I recall running out the kitchen through the front entrance down the path, feet barely touching the ground, all the while he he getting out of his Toyota Ute and making his way up the garden path as I fly into his arms at speed. Those hugs were the absolute best.

Now I replace hugs with verbal greeting and farewells. Shit grief is so bloody hard. Yet I cuddle my cat every possible chance I get.

I hold my patients in times of need and even hug myself on the yoga mat at times.

Badly wanting touch, yet terrified of the consequences.

Someone slap me please!!! Hugs to you all individually.