YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hi friends.

For three days now I've had the blues. I don't know if I've ever felt this sad. I have an oppressive, heavy grief on me.

This is me using my words.

Please send good vibes for something good to happen for me this week: I could just use a little moment of serendipity and joy.

I am not surprised that I am sad; I am surprised that I am not more sad. How do I face the day?

Example sad thought:

I’ve been at my current job for 2.5 years, and in that time only one person has asked me how my job was going.

Here is The Hug Song:

Nobody gets enough hugs a day
‘Cause the minimum number is four
Now if you haven’t got Four Hugs today
Then you better get some more.

CHORUS:
Four Hugs a day, that’s the minimum
Four Hugs a day, not the maximum.

Here is how long I’ve been without hugs:

A girlfriend: six years.
Family of origin: two years.
Friends: two years, probably (though I'm sure they'd hug me if we met).

I can’t remember the last time I’ve been hugged. I am touch starved.

Somewhere someone is thinking of your smile
Who finds knowing you on here is truly worthwhile
So whenever you are feeling down, lonely or blue
Just remember i am thinking of you.

For you my friend, as always i wish i could make you and all of you on here dinner.

Friends: two years, probably (though I'm sure they'd hug me if we met).

Oak - Know too, that I would give you a hug if I could...

SD

Thank you Mental Fairy, Troebia, and SnoringDog.

Yesterday was as difficult as my post suggested.

Thanks to your encouragement, and fully acknowledging my emotions, I was able to create a provisional sort of plan to face today.

I’ve put in my calendar a reminder to post here again a year from now. I hope I’m in a happier place this time next year.

How does it feel to really sit with your feelings, Oak?

For me, I can only do it for a fraction of a second

I try to convert it into action right away, maybe because of my inability to sit with the feeling

manuel_moe_g wrote: ↑August 1st, 2023, 9:48 am How does it feel to really sit with your feelings, Oak?

For me, I can only do it for a fraction of a second

I try to convert it into action right away, maybe because of my inability to sit with the feeling

Hi Manuel Moe.

For me, grief (which is a manifestation and melange of anxiety and regret) shows up and leaves when it wants to: I am powerless over it.

I encourage you, just for fun, to try sitting with your feelings for up to five seconds.

Just see how it goes.

Something that helped me was sitting in a spot that i feel at rest, comfortable and warm. I then got out photos of the people that i was going through the grieving process for. I would give each some time of thought, allow the thoughts in, the tears or anger out. I would stretch and just be. I then learnt who was my main hurdle to deal with, who i needed to process, who i needed to just be with in a mental state for a bit.

This helped so much in the way of moving forward. I still do this from time to time.

Friends, I was as sad as I've ever been on Monday. These truths are very difficult to face, but I didn't shirk.

That night I watched a film I find powerful, 2003's Big Fish. At least through the heavenly/Garden of Eden town the character visits early on.

I was moved to tears by the kindness they show him. My heartfelt response reminds me that I am still human, that I have a heart.

Mental Fairy wrote: ↑August 1st, 2023, 8:38 pm I would give each some time of thought, allow the thoughts in, the tears or anger out. I would stretch and just be. I

Thank you for this practice, Mental Fairy. I'll try it later today, and report back.