Soul crushed: reviving my soul by this time next year (Aug 2024).

[oak]

Our good friend Mental Fairy stated plainly what has been rattling around in my mind for weeks:

Use your skills elsewhere if possible Oak. Make a plan, forge ahead. If possible of course. But this job is sucking your soul dry.

For now, here are two things I can admit to myself, and my friends here:

1. My soul has been crushed.

2. I have an idea of what an un-crushed soul would look like, a year from today: I want to do yoga teacher training (YTT) in September 2024.

That's all I can handle, anxiety-wise, to admit for now. I'd like to come back to this thread in the future.

[oak]

A related, perhaps, vignette

If I can add, to the above, a sort of "you had to be there" moment I had when talking with my friend/mentor the other day.

I explained that I've always been drawn to hippies, that I have a bit of a hippie heart.

My friend: "Wanting to be a hippie is not shameful."

Me (passionately, and without a hint of irony): "I'm not ashamed! I've just been repressing it for years!"

[oak]

Hi friends.

I see more and more Americans being lost to conspiracy theories. I see many of these same people filled with rage. They are so certain, and they scare me.

While I increasingly avoid them, I realize it will take all my energy to pursue my goals. I can’t spend any more time or energy worrying about them. I can wish them well, from afar.

I’d like to participate in a kettlebell competition in December, and do yoga teacher training this time next year.

After a hellish start (and middle) to 2023, I am excited for life. I could just use a little good luck. Or less bad luck, until I can get I my feet again.

Thanks for listening!

[Mental Fairy]

Follow the good feelings Oak, anything that doesn’t feel in alignment with your true self can just fall away.

[oak]

Thanks, Mental Fairy. I’m already, in the few days since our posts, taking action.

Friends, here is visual representation of my year, when I demonstrate courage:

I am clearly visible on the right, and 2023 enters from the left:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Eyebleach/comments/15qau1t/the_cutest_scare_ever/

[manuel_moe_g]

Ha! That .gif is the greatest!

Oak, would you say that you enjoy constant improvement, month-in month-out?

[oak]

Hi Manuel Moe . I hope you’re doing well.

Week to week is the the natural rhythm for me, since I was in graduate school twenty years ago: if I can just make it to Sunday afternoon.

Then, after a year of (at best) two-steps-forward-one-step-back, I can often see gradual changes after about a year.

How about you? What is your natural timeframe to effect change?

[manuel_moe_g]

Hi Oak

My pace for a mental change (where i know the right thing to do intellectually, but I don't "feel" it, and i definitely don't feel it in my body), would be 6 months to a year

just having it constantly in front of mind, thinking it out, over that large a span of time usually does it

but I would say that each month is better than the month proceeding it, even if the growth is minuscule