YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

[CARD#7] Renouncing Self-Judgement to prevent Procrastination, and Managing ADHD need for Dopamine throughout the Day
Value Yourself and Mind Your Mind
(1) Prioritize Self-Value Over Harsh Self-Judgment
"I am inherently valuable just as I am. My self-worth isn't dependent on being extraordinary. I choose self-compassion over self-criticism. Kindness towards myself fuels my productivity. I give my daughter unconditional love, and I can do the same for myself! I am excited about the work toward my success."
(2) Be Mindful of ADHD Needs for Dopamine
"I acknowledge my ADHD and its need for dopamine. I find healthy ways to feed it: 'stimming,' novelty, small rewards, and meaningful celebrations of <all> small wins and accomplishments . These empower my focus and free me from aimless smartphone scrolling."
Remember: You are Enough.

manuel_moe_g wrote: ↑October 12th, 2023, 4:15 pmMy self-worth isn't dependent on being extraordinary. I choose self-compassion over self-criticism. Kindness towards myself fuels my productivity.

MM, I must admit I'm puzzled by the concept of self-worth since I've probably long given up on it. Getting through the day without severe anxiety has become enough. I constantly commit errors of all kinds but there seems to be no room or time for remorse; I simply keep swimming in order to not drown.

The daily chores and the calendar items push me forward. Sometimes with the new SSRI medication I catch myself with a completely empty mind, like a robot or a zombie. I used to like watching movies and series but I can't identify with any character anymore. Not unhappy, just existing, carrying on.

MM, I now feel awful for hijacking your thread and only blabbering about myself. Sorry, it was just my knee-jerk reaction to concepts that seem so obscure to me in the depression hole.

How do you reward yourself and celebrate, as you say in your card? What could be a "win"?

Howdy Troebia, don't worry about hijacking the thread, that is what threads are for, around here!

Uh, I don't get too scientific with the concept of "self-worth", I just use it to inform decisions about actions. I know what "lack of self-worth" is like: it is throwing-yourself-under-the-bus at every opportunity, which I had to do in my house growing up with my father being a violent alcoholic narcissist, and my mother being self-absorbed, neglectful of my emotional needs, and very judgmental.

Self-Worth, to me, usually means treating myself as I would treat my daughter, because I truly love my daughter unconditionally.

Celebrating "wins" is very difficult. My ADHD counselor want these actions when I have even a tiny success:

• writing the success on a whiteboard, which will be my "Tah-Dah List" (as opposed to a To-Do List)
• doing a little dance, to shake out stress
• playing a song from my "favorite song" playlist
• saying "Hooray! Yippee!"

Very hard for me to do, because my reaction when I actually do something off of my "To-Do List", I want to speak to myself negatively, roll my eyes, and say "oh great, you demonstrated a 0.5 out of 10 for effort". It is hard to shift from one mindset to the opposite mindset.

Some slight changes...

[CARD#7] Renouncing Self-Judgement to prevent Procrastination, and Managing ADHD need for Dopamine throughout the Day
Value Yourself and Mind Your Mind
(1) Prioritize Self-Value Over Harsh Self-Judgment
"I am inherently valuable just as I am. My self-worth isn't dependent on being extraordinary. I choose self-compassion over self-criticism. Kindness towards myself fuels my productivity. I give my daughter unconditional love, and I can do the same for myself! I am excited about the work toward my success."
(2) Be Mindful of ADHD Needs for Dopamine
"I acknowledge my ADHD and its need for dopamine. I find healthy ways to feed it: 'stimming,' novelty, drinking water, cold water on face, small rewards, and meaningful celebrations of <all> small wins and accomplishments. These empower my focus and free me from aimless smartphone scrolling."
Remember: You are Enough.

Your father’s drama took up all the space in the house, leaving none for you. Your mother communicated with you only in harsh judgements (of you). She regularly needed you to snap to attention in that unpredictable scenario.

Hello Troebia

Sometimes with the new SSRI medication I catch myself with a completely empty mind, like a robot or a zombie. I used to like watching movies and series but I can't identify with any character anymore. Not unhappy, just existing, carrying on.

That's familiar to me, but in terms of emotions, not thoughts. It's surely a side effect. When I first started Prozac I noticed that I didn't feel like crying all the time as before,but had a numb feeling which I didn't really like. Tried to find the right dosage to get a balance.

Always be careful when starting or changing meds.

Wishing you well.

Sd

With my own medication, my psychiatrist and I really focused on stability over everything else

I feel it is the right choice, but definitely there are some emotional states that I can no longer access

But the big emotional swings were just too damaging, can’t abide them

So, for example, being no long able to cry… well, it sucks, because I no longer have that release, but overall the goal of no more dangerous swings makes it worth it

[CARD#7] Renouncing Harsh Self-Judgement to prevent Procrastination, and Managing ADHD need for Dopamine throughout the Day
Value Yourself and Mind Your Mind
(1) Prioritize Self-Value Over Harsh Self-Judgment
"I am inherently good & valuable just as I am. My self-worth isn't dependent on being extraordinary. I choose self-compassion over self-criticism. Kindness towards myself fuels my productivity. I give my daughter unconditional love, and I can do the same for myself! I am excited about the work toward my success."
(2) Be Mindful of ADHD Needs for Dopamine, Resist Falling into Dopamine Trap
"I acknowledge my ADHD and its need for dopamine. I find healthy ways to feed it: 'stimming,' novelty, drinking water, cold water on face, small rewards, and meaningful celebrations of <all> small wins and accomplishments, like moving my body in a little dance. These empower my focus and free me from aimless smartphone scrolling."
Remember: You are Enough.

Your post MM move me. I can feel how you are moving through through and self care. There has been a shift with you in the last three months. Something has shifted