YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I received zero hugs in 2023.

The last time I know I got a hug was 2017, which was the last time I had a girlfriend.

Oak, this post made me feel incredibly sad.

I would if I could.

I feel if we all got the chance to meet it would be a hug of gratitude and appreciation.

You and everyone on here feel like a part of me. You all have an open invitation to my very private and secretive world. It’s an honour to be in yours.

oak wrote: ↑January 5th, 2024, 5:36 pm The last time I know I got a hug was 2017, which was the last time I had a girlfriend.

It's time to get out there! So many lonely girls. Dare I suggest a dancing or cooking course? I wish I could be your wingman!

manuel_moe_g wrote: ↑January 6th, 2024, 11:45 am I would never want to force myself on my wife, and i would never want my wife to just "give-in" to sex just to keep the peace, but her not caring about my sexual needs is painful to me (assuming that is where she is at mentally).

I'm also a bit starved, but I think we have clear communication after some counselling a few years back. She understands my needs better and I have come to understand her post-menopausal state. The stars will align about twice a month and it is what it is. There's so much more to intimacy than just sex.

Friends, thank you for letting me be honest (I am only as sick as my secrets), and for your encouragement.

If I can solve my pressing financial and housing problems in early 2024, I believe that there is good hope for a less touch-starved later 2024.

Mental Fairy

Mental Fairy wrote: ↑January 5th, 2024, 7:56 pm Oak, this post made me feel incredibly sad.

I would if I could.

Yes, Mental Fairy, this matter is something worth being sad about; it is a real shonda (a shame, a disgrace) that our society has this happen.

Thanks for the virtual hugs! Please give hugs to your husband, son, coworkers (as appropriate), and ducks and cats (to the extent they can handle hugs).

Manuel Moe

manuel_moe_g wrote: ↑January 6th, 2024, 11:45 am Oak, I wish you all the fulfilling things in life, you deserve them all

Thank you, Manuel Moe!

And we'll stand by you as you navigate your difficult marriage. Keep us posted.

Troebia

troebia wrote: ↑January 6th, 2024, 1:15 pm It's time to get out there! So many lonely girls. Dare I suggest a dancing or cooking course? I wish I could be your wingman!

Troebia, well said and thank you.

Effecting these is strictly a financial matter; early in 2024 here I am experiencing an acute financial crunch, and a looming housing potential quandary.

With a little luck, both of those will be resolved by this time in March.

If so, (1) there are monthly local swing dances, and (2) just because you mentioned it I looked up local upscale fine-dining vocational college. In March I see they have a class about risotto, and another about trattoria.

If I can resolve these foundational Maslow problems (financial and housing) in Jan/Feb, and am more financially secure by March 1, I promise to register for at least one, and go to the swing dance in early March.

Thank you Oak. Sadly hugs with my husband are few and far between. More me being the problem than him. I push him away a lot, there is a large part of me that feels I don’t deserve love, affection or embrace.
Don’t get me wrong, I give hugs a lot to people in need but neglect them at home for some reason.

Romantically I’m flawed. It’s scares me. Many times I’m hugged by Joe and I wish he would just let go and leave me alone. I divert my eyes and avoid further contact. We had a rough start to our marriage which he still brings up and uses against me at weird moments, two nights ago he brought up some of my past mistakes. Again I slink back into my shell.

Hugs can mean the world to one person, then can mean the reminder of what’s missing behind them.

MF

This is the closest smilie of a hug I could find!

lg

Thank you. Right back at you!