YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Ugh, I am still recovering from doing a lot of driving yesterday, and I blew off working on my mom’s CPAP machine in the afternoon because I was headachy and sleepy and just took a nap. I anticipate massive shitty attitude from my mom when I pick up the machine so at least I can wash the water reservoir with soapy water at home. I will just go “gray rock” to try to survive the shittiness. It sucks, have to put a figurative arm across my own shoulder in support.

So what is worse or preferable: shittiness, or autistic blankness as with mine?

If she also neglected you as a child, you now have a golden opportunity to get even and I may not even be kidding...though I suspect you actually have good rapport with your mother.

Tonight, getting shit from my mom and then my wife just brings home I manifested continuing abuse in my life because I tolerate abuse because I am used to abuse. Any single people out there: sense of self, sense of self-love & self-care, sense of self-respect — so lovely to have at least running at 65% before getting into serious relationship

You don’t need perfection before entering into a serious relationship, but you need more than I had, lol

Howdy Troebia

I am sorry your mom let her autism put a emotional wedge between you two, however much of that was volitional on her part

I run hot and cold on my opinion of my mom. She has many mental problems, she is not one to work on herself or positively exercise her personal agency, between the cracks is evidence she could love me in a real way, even though most of it was transactional…

manuel_moe_g wrote: ↑August 17th, 2024, 4:36 am sense of self, sense of self-love & self-care, sense of self-respect — so lovely to have at least running at 65% before getting into serious relationship

That would have been awesome, but if I had stuck to that I'd never have been with anyone. Most girls/women I dated were also severely broken...

manuel_moe_g wrote: ↑August 17th, 2024, 10:57 am even though most of it was transactional…

Or: they didn't treat us as their children since they weren't adults themselves.

I’m sorry MM, I wish I could help you more. The mum situation is absolutely unfair, not to mention wife