Just checking in . . .
Posted: January 19th, 2013, 6:09 pm
OK, I'm pissed that a client I put a lot of effort into is just shining me on for whatever reason, haven't seen them in weeks, but I know this is how this business goes, but the depression likes to make it about ME and how fucked I AM, etc. So I know that's bullshit. I am in a place where with a little effort I can rephrase that mental dialogue and that's a good thing. It helps to vent a little here and get it off my chest. Feeling a little pissy tonight. Usually has nothing to do with me, what my clients do or don't do. I just keep opening it up to a feeling that more business is coming my way and I know it will, and then I feel better. Yes, I had a glass of vermouth. Yes, it made me feel better. No, I don't care about all you AAers out there who think that's a fucked up way to handle your mood. My alcohol sits in the kitchen cabinet for months at a time, so I feel OK, have a glass now and then. My therapist actually recommended it. Yay! Yay for me. I don't like feeling negative any more, I am OVER IT!!! I am ready to be one of the living, to have the life I see around me and want. I am not going to indulge, I am going to MOVE ON!
