YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

...at the moment, if someone told me I wouldn't live to see tomorrow, that wouldn't bother me very much.

Hello My poor friend me!

Yeah, I am hitting my head against the wall due to my anxiety. A lot of what I thought was my identity was really just ways of dealing with anxiety. Anxiety makes me ambivalent about living.

I guess it is good that I am realizing my core problem. I am even thinking of dealing my harmful anxiety soothing techniques much like an alcoholic deals with addiction, in something like a 12-step-program - my biggest change with be moving from ego-rational-driven to humility-driven.

Please take care, all the best, "My poor friend me", we love your contributions, and we are all cheering for you and for your greatest today and tomorrow!

Doing better today. Anxiety is a weird thing -- on most days I can endure just about anything. I've seen people killed before my eyes, and while it wasn't much fun, I was more or less okay. But on days like yesterday, a tiny little insignificant thing can plunge me into emotional chaos that lasts for hours.

And anxiety attacks are so much worse than genuine fear. You're basically in full fight-or-flight mode, but you have no one to fight and nowhere to flee. There's no outlet for all that adrenaline. There's nothing you can do but sit there and hope you'll be yourself again before too long. And while you're in that moment, you don't believe you'll ever be yourself again.

My anxiety works differently - it is always there. I can push through any panic attack because in the back of my head I can't feel too bad about dying - in the back of my head, I am always thinking that stopping living would be such a relief.

I hope you take care of yourself during your panic attacks - you have to treat yourself in a loving way. It sounds trite, but I would be so happy if you could just sit lotus-style on the floor, in meditation pose, with controlled breathing, trying to meditate or get as close to meditation as you can. I hope you can be loving to yourself during these episodes.

Take care, "My poor friend me", all the best!