sad, lonely, and scared...

[minigrogs]

Right now I feel sad, lonely, and scared. The depression conglomeration I should say. I wish I could say I have a legitimate reason. But I just feel overwhelmed. Life has messed with my head a bit and I want it to stop. Most likely I just need to go to bed, but am overtired and in my head and thus having a hard time actually wanting to sleep. Need to get grounded. My therapist always likes to say that I am not grounded in the moment. Definitely feeling that today.

[Cheldoll]

It sounds like you have plenty of reasons to feel the way you do. And even if you didn't -- who cares? You can't reason away these things. I've actually just started seeing a new therapist and she taught me about grounding exercises. I would be lying if I told you to try them because they've worked for me. Maybe I just need to practice them more? Maybe I just did them wrong? I don't know. But what has worked for me is putting someone else in my ear -- podcasts, audiobooks, lecture recordings... just someone smarter and saner than I am -- and pretending I'm them. I was pro at playing pretend when I was 8, and even though I'm a bit rusty without my dress-up clothes, I can still lose myself in the fantasy enough that my brain stops freaking out and I can sleep.

Anyway, I hope you can get some sleep tonight. Good luck. You're not alone.

[minigrogs]

Thanks. That is good idea. Sometimes putting another voice in my ear helps me as well. Sometimes it is so easy to get lost in your own head and lose sense of everything. It is interesting to pretend you are them. It is my tendency to compare sometimes, if I feel the person is smarter/saner. That feeling of why am i not them. It would be nice to try to be them in my own head, instead of creating that comparison.

Honestly, the thing that helps me the most is listening to someone else I know talk about themselves or a problem they are going through. Gets me out of myself and fully focused on them and makes me feel useful.

[SmartCookie]

Interesting, cheldoll, that we seem to have converged on the same tactic of putting someone else's voice in our heads. I've been listening to a lot of audiobooks lately too, from people similarly smarter and more grounded than me, and it definitely rubs off. The skill comes in being discerning about whose voice you let in. (And in case you're wondering/tempted, TV really, really doesn't count, and I know that from too much experience.)

I have something similar to you, minigrogs, in that sense of relief that comes from feeling immersed in someone else's story. I sometimes wonder if it would help me to be more objective and compassionate towards myself to write my own story in the third person. The pain associated with thinking about one's self can definitely be unbearable. I don't even really see pretending to "be" someone as an act of deception — it is more that these positive traits already exist in us. They are just dormant and we just need reminders that the more we feed, nourish and nurture them and beat back the weeds, the more they will express themselves in our daily lives on their own.