Anxious, worried, hopeful
Posted: July 13th, 2014, 6:02 pm
I finally set up a doctor's appointment a few days ago after talking myself out of it for 3 months due to my anxiety. I even managed to push back my anxiety enough to talk to my doctor about my depression and anxiety. I had a panic attack that lasted about 3 hours upon leaving my doctor's office, but he had offered to fax a referral to a psychologist who had been recommended to me earlier in the week. Two days after my appointment, I was still feeling anxious about it, and emailed the psychologist through her website to add some follow up information, and now I'm also feeling anxious about that, and worried that I might come off as too needy and desperate (to a psychologist) for her to want to help me. At the same time, I am hopeful that she can help me overcome my depression and anxiety and move on with my life. It all adds up to sleepless nights, restless days and feeling panicky all the time. But it also feels kind of good, because it's more feeling than I feel that I've felt in the rest of my life up to now... kind of like when you quit caffeine or sugar for a long time and then go get an espresso or pixie stix. And now I'm rambling all over the place because I don't know how to shut up.
