How to be creative again

[cyanidebreathmint]

I've always been a creative person. This is not to say I have been GOOD at it, although I have gotten the odd compliment. However, for close to a year now, creativity seems to have gotten more and more linked to being triggering for me. Everything I do, I feel like a huge piece of shit shortly after beginning. I just feel like everything I do is worthless, hacky, just too awful to justify the time doing it. It's very painful, because writing and creating was something that once was a refuge from these painful feelings and brought me joy. Now it's something triggering that brings on self-hatred and deep sadness.

Have others of you experienced this? How do you break free?

I am thinking I might start doing something creative that I have never tried before in my life, so that there are no expectations and I will be able to tolerate it if my work is a pile of shit.

[manuel_moe_g]

people like "The War of Art" from Steven Pressfield

my problem was extreme fear of failure paralyzing me. I am imagining being on my deathbed and honestly taking stock of the things I failed to accomplish in an objective but dispassionate and realistic way. it seems to help - fear paralyzes me, so I have no choice but to throw myself into the jaws of fear, let it chew me up, and find out where I end up.

[PalmcorderYajna]

I'm a musician, and about to release my first album. I struggled with these thoughts (and I still do) for years. Everytime I tried to write a song I would just see all of the pieces I was ripping off from my influences. I was afraid if I released anything, or played anywhere, people would just go "You are just a thief". I stuck with music, and slowly I started to realize that while stylistically I had my influences, the words I were writing were deeply personal to me. No one else could have come up with them. I then started to realize no one else was noticing my influences in my music. Not only that, everyone is influenced by other people. I forget who said it, or where I found it, but there was this statement, an affirmation if you will, that stated that everything you do is authentic, and beautiful, because it came from you personally, you are not simply a sum of your influences.

[Anne]

Hello fellow suffering creative mind.

I am currently dealing with this. But I try to see my creativity as the thing that it is. A vital function of my mind. It is basically like digestion.
You are probably sensitive and perceptive. So you need to get some stuff out of your head. Deal with the things you pick up. Digest. So the things your brain produces don't need to be good. If you feel like you're producing shit, than by all means, get that shit out! Allow yourself to be bad.
It is not your job to please anyone, not even yourself.

Woah, listen to me all preachy. I am still struggling with this. But I have worked my way into becoming somewhat callous about this whole creative thing. And it feels amazing. Also: this is the only way I'm gonna do something worthwhile. Of course I wanna make great art and it's good that I am critical about the things that I do, but if my critical mind is keeping me from working, than it doesn't do it's job right.

I am currently working on a book. I try not to think, judge or hold myself back with whatever it is I feel like writing. It's a project. The content is not important, I just go wherever it takes me. It's fun. It's also tough. But I defininately encourage you to find the right mindset to give yourself some freedom for "failure", especially when failure is so goddamn underrated when it comes to creativity ... when it comes to life actually.

I think what I am trying to say has been said before. And better. I collected a couple of links on the forums, that deal with various mental issues: http://mentalpod.com/forum/viewtopic.ph ... 837#p13837.
There is a section on creativity. Get inspired. You're not alone with this. In fact the greatest minds in art and science struggle with this. So I hope this helps.

Take care. Sending some good thoughts your way.

[Harold]

Have you ever read "Art & Fear?" That book helps sometimes. I struggle with this too. One thing that helps me snap out of it and enjoy again is paying attention to the moment-by-moment sensations of creating. I think this works best if you do stuff analog - for example, when I'm drawing, I take a break just to enjoy the way ink flows onto the page. The tactile pleasure of it, peering in close to watch it stain and shine and dry, and the noise of the nib scratching the board...that drowns out my doubts, at least for a bit. Good luck!

[The_Blustery_Day]

I sure wish I knew, and I really feel you!!
I go into phases where I get really focused on a project and am able to turn out some artwork I'm happy with, but then comes the funk. Creating is like manic depression for me. When I'm doing it, I'm UP UP UP, but as soon as I'm spent (and I usually just keep on drawing until I am, because the moments I can actually produce are so fleeting for me now), I go way DOWWWN and can barely pick up a pencil. It's so frustrating, I absolutely hate it.

Then there's the whole thing of comparing myself to everyone BETTER.
Because there's always someone better, right? 9_9 I really hate that dark place, too.
I don't know how to be creative and enjoy it anymore.

I really love what Harold said. Just enjoying the process.
I try to do this by creating fan pieces - my own renditions of other people's designs. The problem is, there are those who want to guilt you for not making up your own thing every single time, and I hate that, because sometimes all I want to do is enjoy the process of putting lines on paper (or the computer) and coloring it. I really get down about all the "shoulds" where art is concerned, and I think there's a time for everything. In my UP mood I do my own original thing, and it feels great. When I start slowing down, that's when I create variations on a theme. Classical composers did THAT all the time. I wonder how many people called them hacks and unoriginal copycats. Guilt and creativity go hand in hand for me, and I wish I knew how to separate them out so I could feel free to create again. I'll definitely watch this thread to see if anyone else has some good ideas how they broke free and were able to start fresh again!

[pangolin23]

I can relate to the OP so much. I have had this problem with creativity ever since my depression started in my teens. I am now 30. Sometimes it feels like I will never get my creativity back. I manage to talk myself out of doing even the tiniest things because I am scared that doing them will make me feel worse. But in reality, it would probably be impossible for me to feel any worse than I already do.

[CBM89]

The most useful technique/advice/placebo/whatever for me is giving myself permission to be bored. A lot of times my "just started self hatred", two minutes into creative work is just boredom which I have a bad habit of equating with failure. Like, if I'm not exploding with ideas/inspiration I've already failed. Obviously that's just not true. Creative work is a process, and you have to give it time and honor it wherever it takes you.

I try to give myself time/permission to be bored. I just sit down, bring no distractions, and eventually I come up with something to write/draw/etc just to entertain myself. That's usually the best stuff, too. Your job as an artist I think is really just showing up and having faith in a process you can't understand when you're in it.