Podcast Makes Me Feel Great and Terrible at the Same Time

[Jessicake]

On the one hand, listening to the podcast and reading the messages in this community makes me feel like it's OK that I'm so frustrated by my crappy relationship with my mother. On the other hand, what right do I have to be angry? I was never abused or neglected in any way. These other people have real problems, and your mother has been dead for over 3 years. You can't fix anything now so just get over it! I walk away from each episode or board-lurking session feeling like I'm allowed to be mad, but that it makes me a huge crybaby jerk.

[manuel_moe_g]

Hello Jessicake, welcome to our little forum! Looking forward to your posts and replies!

Human suffering is not a competition. You are suffering, and that is enough for hearts to open and for you to have self-love for yourself. Please take care, and please be self-loving!

[RabbitPoo]

I can DEFINITELY relate. Even though i know, as manuel already said, that human suffering is not a competition. But i can't help from feeling that I'm unworthy in some way when other people have been through so much worse. I love hearing those stories and to feel for them, but yeah, constantly questioning myself at the same time

[DeviantDaisy]

Pain is pain is pain sweetie. If you are in pain it's real and worth paying attention to.

[kb9vgh]

can totally relate - an idea - so you don't feel bad about not having gotten over something that happened three years ago - maybe you can turn your challenge into the fact that things are still eating at you that you wish you could have dealt with better even though it was 3 years ago- so that the focus isn't on something that happened 3 years ago but the fact that you have the right to address it no matter how long it takes- and please realize that this is a journey so perhaps 3 years ago you weren't far enough along in your journey to know what to do or how to deal - sorry if this makes no sense - sometimes I screw up my words - I just want you to feel valid in having concerns and don't compare yourself to others or think their concerns are more serious or yours are less important -----

[rc409]

Jessi, dont worry about it...Trauma, abuse, or whatever each of us has going on is our stuff. You might go through something and say, "No big deal" and it might be very traumatic for me. Not likely since I'm so goofed up, but its possible.

I remember seeing fear when I was in to see my neurologist. One of the engines in his airplane needed rebuilding and he was afraid of the cost. Sure, it is ridiculous to you and I , but for him, that was a real emotion.

How I judge what happened to you as being more/less/equal to what I went through is meaningless. Whatever you have going on is yours, and it effected you to the degree it did, and thats why were here, and why we welcome you.

When I was little, I was supposed to eat my dinner because there were starving kids in China. Awesome, except that did not make me hungry, or the shitty food taste better.

[butterfly_cake]

I also have mixed reaction to the podcast. The good is that it's very encouraging to hear other people going through the same shit as me.

The bad is that I don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life and it's discouraging hearing Paul and guests talk about how many decades they've been struggling and that they continue to struggle. I get that chronic mental illness is something that people manage. I have yet to be persuaded that a life like that is worth living

[aloy]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

I feel like I need two therapists. One to work on current stressors and one to talk about things in the pod that are brought up for me.