YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

This is a strange question - hopefully, I can keep it brief without "baring my soul," so to speak...

But can anyone think of specific examples of great art/comedy where the artist in question is really laying it all out there? I'm currently workshopping my first one-woman show and wondering how much information about me is too much for the audience - I've been told that writing a personal screenplay, pilot, song, or play can be therapeutic as long as it doesn't cross the line into actual therapy. But, up until now, that personal stuff is all that I've written. I'm thinking specifically of one of my idols, the playwright Wendy Wasserstein, who left no stone unturned as far as writing out her own personal and professional stories. These were plays that had the power to mend her difficult family relationships if the audience listened closely. Or Jonathan Winters, who is considered the first, groundbreaking stand-up to tell true stories about his own battles with alcoholism and institutionalization. At the same time, if I leave out the important, gory details, I'd feel like I'm doing a disservice to myself, even knowing that there could be repercussions. As my playwrighting mentor/teacher once told me, "Don't let the facts get in the way of the truth."

This is also coming off of a precise flip-side to this argument: My ex is doing a rather "incriminating" (I use quotes because I've never seen it, but heard about it) stand-up routine about me. My crippling panic disorder and need to constantly blame others, among other things. Of course, he never mentions my name, but the parts he was willing to tell me were seriously offensive - and I don't even want to know the parts he doesn't want me to see. We're all guilt-ridden here, I suppose, yet I wonder if there's a right way or a wrong way to tell your story without pissing anyone off - or maybe it's a vital step?

Is there a line between writing what you know and actually living your art?

Karina,

My artistic talents are fairly weak, or at least unexplored, compared to yours. Still, I feel like I understand what you mean about having something in you that needs to come out, but struggling with the best way to allow for that. One of my favorite quotes is from Maya Angelou. She said, "there is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." Personally, I think we all need some kind of outlet for strong emotions, preferrably several different outlets. I've heard Paul say things like this many times on the show. If I don't choose the outlets, my body and mind will choose them for me--and the default ones are usually the least healthy. I'm living proof of that.

So, is it necessary to piss people off while you're telling your story? That's a tough question. I think it's always fair to explain how something made you feel. If you tell your ex that you were hurt and you felt, perhaps, betrayed when you found out about his stand-up act, he might get upset, but that's on him. If your one-woman show explores some of the painful things you've been through and that makes the audience uncomfortable, then that's on them. It seems like as an artist there may be times when you're torn between going for commercial success and doing the art that you really want to do, but I don't sense that that's the main issue right now.

I myself struggle to express anger without giving it a vengeful tone. I struggle to express sadness without demanding sympathy. Too often I let my fear of other people's reactions keep me from finding a constructive way to say what I really need to say. It's hard. It must take a ton of courage to work that out on stage.

Karina wrote:My ex is doing a rather "incriminating" (I use quotes because I've never seen it, but heard about it) stand-up routine about me. My crippling panic disorder and need to constantly blame others, among other things.

Marc Maron is being real in his stand-up art by confessing is own sins. Your ex is being "real" by confession *your* sins. Fuck your ex, he has proved himself to be a shallow asshole poseur.

Thanx for the encouragement - I've started telling people that only I can refer to myself as a 29-year-old virgin in the name of comedy. It just feels right.