YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I recently moved back in with my mom. I've been trying to control my depression by branching out, meeting new people or just hanging out in public. Whenever I tell my mom I'm going out she asks where I'm going and why. I understand that she's a mom and worries about me, but I want her to back off. I just want to be able to leave the house without her badgering me. I want to have my own life, maybe make a few mistakes along the way but that's life. It's like she judges me for every decision I make. I feel trapped by her and I don't know how to explain it to her. She's closed off emotionally and doesn't like conflict. She doesn't get it. It's so frustrating!

Hello rosedahlia31!

It is fair to tell you mom "When you ask about where I am going and who I am seeing, it feels to me, inside, that you are judging me."

Even asking her to try and preface her questions with "I am not judging you, I just feel better asking you..." could help.

Please take care, all the best! We here are all cheering for you and for your greatest today and tomorrow!

Kudos for taking charge of your depression and making the decision to actively seek out new people! That's huge!

I know that feeling of an overprotective, over-involved mom. I am a private person but I'm living with my family and they're very... in-all-your-business kind of people, you know? It's hard too because they are coming from a place of love and concern, so I feel bad telling them to back off and leave me alone sometimes.

I think manuel_moe_g touched on a point, is your mom saying anything specifically judgmental about your actions? Or is she asking about you because she wants to keep tabs on what you're doing and how you're holding up? Her intentions are key in this situation.

If she is just worried about you and wants to know what you're up to, maybe you could set up a time to touch base with her. Set aside some time to fill her in on what's going on in your life after you have had some time to explore and process it on your own. As long as it is on your terms. This is your life, and you can choose to share as much or as little of it as you feel comfortable sharing.

If she is, however, not approving of what you are doing, I think it is just as okay to tell her to mind or own damn business affirm to her that you are doing what you need to do for yourself right now, and if she doesn't approve, she can keep it to herself. It doesn't hurt to listen to her concerns, but ultimately, you need to do for yourself what you need for yourself.