Narcissism
Posted: April 12th, 2013, 6:47 am
I SENT THIS AS AN EMAIL BUT ALSO WANTED TO PRESENT IT TO THE FORUM: First, I would like to express that this newly found podcast is incredible! Your demeanor and openness really inspires me. I have only listened to a few podcasts and forgive me if I am treading over a topic covered, but I am very interested in narcissism and narcissistic abuse. I am a 33 year old male that has been described as being ADHD with anxiety, general depression with a bit of an addiction to tobacco. I believe my childhood background lead me to playing a helper, fixer, empathic role with women. I have repeatedly subconsciously been drawn into dating bipolars, cutters, and the like over the years. The last woman I dated, I fell deeply in love with for the first time in my life really. We only dated for a year and then have been really good friends over the past six months. Before I judge her, I will say nobody has ever been more fun to just hang out with and we generally get along great in person, at least for a while. She is pretty obviously OCD at the least and others throw around that she may be manic depressive and borderline personality. I started doing a lot of research online about borderlines, and a lot of it made sense but then I started doing research on narcissism at that really hit home. The controlling, demeaning putdowns, mind manipulation, compulsive lying, constant need for attention and then pushing one away when they don't need you anymore, and especially bouts of rage. Over the past few months we have kept close contact and at times things feel great. Though, I can't help but feel she treats me like someone she can use and take advantage of. I am always the one to call when she needs to vent. I pay for any any social events. I have spent countless hours helping her remodel her house etc etc etc..The point I want to get to, though, is that most of the online literature says these people cannot be helped and to just walk away. This deeply disturbs me. It's hard to know what the truth is that comes out of her mouth, but there is enough evidence that she has suffered abuse in her formative years. She has mentioned being raped, always feeling like she never belonged from her family moving all the time, etc etc..And I have seen the like of a couple of her ex-boyfriends and I have seen situations where they were abusive to her. She would never seek out help herself, that is for sure. As someone who cares ( too much) I am curious to pose this question to you and this show. To add on to the reason I am so involved and interested: she has a 9 year old autistic son. I would like to at least give some kind of effort to helping out this woman and child I care about it. Has anyone seen or heard of anyone that has any kind of success treating narcissists? Biofeedback? Anything? Thank you and much love!