Dissociation following sex

[mellybelly]

So i'm married and we have a decent sex life. But sometimes, just for shits and giggles I guess, sex triggers me and I get to dissociate for at least a day, usually a few.

No reason for it. We weren't pushing boundaries or doing anything I was uncomfortable with. My mind just goes sideways.

I'm trying to work, and trying to stay grounded and practice all the lovely grounding techniques I know. None of it works that well, just enough to keep me functional. Keep the part of me that really wants to cut calm and remind her we are safe. Despite how lovely the pain feels. She doesn't understand why it's wrong, that bleeds into my thoughts.

This mental illness stuff is not fair.

[kayle]

This. Absolutely this.

I'm still coming off about a week long exhaustive phase. It's very hard to put back in the little black box until the next trigger blows.

What you did is really all I think we can do. Staying grounded and having the correct meds/doses on board. Keeping communication lines open. All the healthy bullshit that doesn't work terribly well.. just well enough to make it to tomorrow. Sigh, chin up. You can always talk to me.

- Kayle

[mellybelly]

It's slowly getting better as the week progresses, I think is week two, no switching this week. From May until September I was dissociated a lot. I think I've always done it, but until this past May I never really noticed it.

I think my "bestie" and I are falling apart. Nothing dramatic, but we have very different ideals. She's lived a rather upper middle class life, kinda sheltered. And, I dunno, since our last little thing about social justice, she seems to be calling me less. I'm not really sad about it, it was just nice to have someone to talk to on a regular basis because my husband often works long hours.

I'm just babbling, because I can and it's anonymous. And I need to be heard.

[Eljefetacoma]

I'm having a huge problem with my sex life, and I have since the beginning. I'll be all horny and active for a week or so, and the ln hopelessly disgusted by sexual touching for god knows how long. I've had treatment for all my issues to no avail. I'm not gay, I'm not asexual, I have a girlfriend and want desperately to have a consistent sexual relationship. I've tried everything I can think of and I'm at a loss. I fear I'll lose yet another good relationship because of this. What the heck can I do?

[work in progress]

I don't disasociate fully during sex I just feel numb and angry afterwards. I am in a safe loving relationship with my husband for 10years. Which is why it's so triggering I guess. He is not interested in sex lately and he is more interested in cuddling and needs constant reassurance that I will not abandon him. He has had sexual traumas that he will not discuss and family abandonment issues since he was a teen. We are both in our 40's now and recently struggling with this. Both of us have extensive mental health education and talk about our feelings however we never seem to resolve this. I am thinking about doing EMDR to treat my PTSD related to sexual abuse as a child. I did disassociate as a child undergoing the repeat trauma for a year. I never got mental help as a child just as an adult 20 yrs ago. I receive regular Reiki, healing touch and massage therapy. Which has gotten me this far but I know that the anger, desire, sex love addition, and overeating are still a problem. Trying to lose weight

Currently I have many triggers as my job as a nurse. I am able to recognize the triggers and know what they are however I still need to process the trauma. I sometimes work with sex offenders as a patient of mine, and co-workers. I keep firm boundaries with them but I feel a physical gut ache and frustration working with them. I provide basic care and get assurance that I am treating the patient appropriately. Anyone else experience this?