I wish I could say something that would take the PTSD away. Emotions are so important, but what a nightmare to be held hostage by Memory + Emotions.
I have a good therapist trained in EMDR. For my own Memory + Emotions gremlins she has me imagine I am watching the memory on an old static-filled TV far on the other side of a large room, forward and back like a VCR. There is rhythmic tapping alternating between the left and right side of body while doing this. Then we focus on what meaning arises, then what meaning is just behind that meaning, then a meaning behind that 3 times removed, again and again until hardly anything emotional left attached to the meaning. All with the tapping. The tapping allows a connection to be formed between the rational part and the subconscious part of the brain, putting both in sync so there is just a single meaning shared between these two halves of the brain.
It takes a little while, not too long, but it is exhausting work, need a nice long night of dreamless sleep to recover, and that is exactly what happens naturally.
There are multiple ways to perform the EMDR therapy, but this is the way that works best for the team made up of myself and my therapist, for my particular brain.
Please take care, Mental-Fairy/Gia.
Mind Body and Trauma
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manuel_moe_g
- Posts: 3379
- Joined: October 3rd, 2011, 9:04 am
- Gender: Male
- Issues: Depression, Anxiety
- preferred pronoun: he
- Location: Orange County, CA
- Contact:
Re: Mind Body and Trauma
~~~~~~
http://www.reddit.com/r/obsequious_thumbtack -- Obsequious Thumbtack Headdress
http://www.reddit.com/r/obsequious_thumbtack -- Obsequious Thumbtack Headdress
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Mental Fairy
- Posts: 1718
- Joined: March 24th, 2022, 11:53 am
- Gender: Female
- Issues: Recently sleep walking increased. History of anxiety depression
- preferred pronoun: She
- Location: New Zealand
Re: Mind Body and Trauma
Hi Oak and Manuel Moe.
I love the therapy MM you do and i have been talking to my therapist about it. It's just me in the stall position currently.
Oak, i feel really not here but here if that makes sense, kind of like looking over at myself from a corner of the room somewhere. I text my therapist and he was shocked. Re-traumatizing not something i had ever thought about as in my field there is always something new everyday with every patient.
Came back to my office after running away from it earlier and got my head into files and focus on getting our theater list sorted for tomorrow.
The operation that young lady had we have to do on others on Monday so it's all part of the job.
My boss whom is the most amazing strong and courageous women is shocked. She spoke to me before and said she woke in early hours in a panic attack. She has been a surgeon for as long as i've been alive. She has had trauma from a previous case a while ago when a post delivery patient died after giving birth due to bleeding complications. Because she wasn't on that day they asked her to be a neutral doctor to observe the post mortem of the body. The obstetrician whom was held accountable for the death was charged as he fell asleep on shift and never checked this women post birth. My boss said there was no blood left in that body. Seeing an artery with no blood in it seems so alien and wrong from a doctors view. She never forgot that.
Last night brought it all back to her as was tried so hard to save this women on the bed in our clinic. This clinic is just me and her. It's in a beautiful home with amazing gardens and peaceful environment. Yet last night it became an emergency room for us. Unsupported from the private hospital we work for around the corner due to staff shortage and no beds. Held up by the ambulance service as short staffed and not enough ambulances. We feel lost currently. We did out best. I hope we did anyway.
Something did spring to mind about the re-traumatizing part.
With my mum she was dying because of terminal illness, so i was there to witness the end of a life that medicine had already tried saving.
Last night i was doing my best to save a life of a healthy women who had post operative complications. Two very different feelings.
With mum i felt exhausted. Defeated, cheated, robbed and terrified.
With my patient i felt alert, responsive, in the zone, then useless.
Today we feel useless, sad, hurt, lost and privileged to have known her.
Back to my files and watch this rain fall. I feel numb. I stood outside before and the rain was falling on me and i felt numb. My dear therapist has text and i know i have all of you guys and i am forever grateful. I actually don't know what i would of done if i couldn't get this out of my fingers. Speaking doesn't seem to cut the mustard. I tried talking about it with Joe but he sits in shock and just nods!!!
This is one of the million of times i would like to take us all out for mediterranean dinner!!!!!
I love the therapy MM you do and i have been talking to my therapist about it. It's just me in the stall position currently.
Oak, i feel really not here but here if that makes sense, kind of like looking over at myself from a corner of the room somewhere. I text my therapist and he was shocked. Re-traumatizing not something i had ever thought about as in my field there is always something new everyday with every patient.
Came back to my office after running away from it earlier and got my head into files and focus on getting our theater list sorted for tomorrow.
The operation that young lady had we have to do on others on Monday so it's all part of the job.
My boss whom is the most amazing strong and courageous women is shocked. She spoke to me before and said she woke in early hours in a panic attack. She has been a surgeon for as long as i've been alive. She has had trauma from a previous case a while ago when a post delivery patient died after giving birth due to bleeding complications. Because she wasn't on that day they asked her to be a neutral doctor to observe the post mortem of the body. The obstetrician whom was held accountable for the death was charged as he fell asleep on shift and never checked this women post birth. My boss said there was no blood left in that body. Seeing an artery with no blood in it seems so alien and wrong from a doctors view. She never forgot that.
Last night brought it all back to her as was tried so hard to save this women on the bed in our clinic. This clinic is just me and her. It's in a beautiful home with amazing gardens and peaceful environment. Yet last night it became an emergency room for us. Unsupported from the private hospital we work for around the corner due to staff shortage and no beds. Held up by the ambulance service as short staffed and not enough ambulances. We feel lost currently. We did out best. I hope we did anyway.
Something did spring to mind about the re-traumatizing part.
With my mum she was dying because of terminal illness, so i was there to witness the end of a life that medicine had already tried saving.
Last night i was doing my best to save a life of a healthy women who had post operative complications. Two very different feelings.
With mum i felt exhausted. Defeated, cheated, robbed and terrified.
With my patient i felt alert, responsive, in the zone, then useless.
Today we feel useless, sad, hurt, lost and privileged to have known her.
Back to my files and watch this rain fall. I feel numb. I stood outside before and the rain was falling on me and i felt numb. My dear therapist has text and i know i have all of you guys and i am forever grateful. I actually don't know what i would of done if i couldn't get this out of my fingers. Speaking doesn't seem to cut the mustard. I tried talking about it with Joe but he sits in shock and just nods!!!
This is one of the million of times i would like to take us all out for mediterranean dinner!!!!!
Re: Mind Body and Trauma
Mental Fairy, thank you for sharing, again.
I am sorry you and your surgeon colleague have been through this.
At the risk of being trite, here goes: that is very real. You and your colleague have been through a real trauma.
(A bit off topic: does anyone else, now that they’ve processed some previous trauma realize that they’re experiencing trauma in real time? Eg, “Ohh, this right here and right now, is trauma.”)
Between this trauma, your recent bout with the evil Covid, and the storm survival, I’d say that yes, just hanging on is a great accomplishment for the next 24 hours.
Hang in there, my friend!
And, since you mention Mediterranean, please enjoy some exquisite olive oil. I’ve come to believe it has restorative powers (… or something like that!).
I am sorry you and your surgeon colleague have been through this.
At the risk of being trite, here goes: that is very real. You and your colleague have been through a real trauma.
(A bit off topic: does anyone else, now that they’ve processed some previous trauma realize that they’re experiencing trauma in real time? Eg, “Ohh, this right here and right now, is trauma.”)
Between this trauma, your recent bout with the evil Covid, and the storm survival, I’d say that yes, just hanging on is a great accomplishment for the next 24 hours.
Hang in there, my friend!
And, since you mention Mediterranean, please enjoy some exquisite olive oil. I’ve come to believe it has restorative powers (… or something like that!).
Work is love made visible. -Kahlil Gibran
A person with a "why" can endure any "how". -Viktor Frankl
Which is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort? -Skyrim
A person with a "why" can endure any "how". -Viktor Frankl
Which is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort? -Skyrim
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snoringdog
- Posts: 1518
- Joined: April 23rd, 2019, 5:49 pm
- Gender: male
- Issues: anxiety, depression, automatic negative thoughts, intrusive thoughts, SAD.
- preferred pronoun: "Good Boy!"
- Location: USA
Re: Mind Body and Trauma
Hello Gia,
Just getting caught up now, and I was about to respond to your post on the 16th about the lucid dream... And now this!
Oh. My. God. But- You are stronger than you know, and I believe that you can handle this.
So, so sad, and so traumatic for you and your colleagues!
But I'm glad to live in a world with people like you who do such heavy lifting for those in such desperate straits.
Take care of yourself! And take care of your boss. Don't bottle things up....
Have a good cry when you need to, and post as much as you feel like, or need to here.
SD
Just getting caught up now, and I was about to respond to your post on the 16th about the lucid dream... And now this!
Oh. My. God. But- You are stronger than you know, and I believe that you can handle this.
So, so sad, and so traumatic for you and your colleagues!
But I'm glad to live in a world with people like you who do such heavy lifting for those in such desperate straits.
Take care of yourself! And take care of your boss. Don't bottle things up....
Have a good cry when you need to, and post as much as you feel like, or need to here.
SD
-
Mental Fairy
- Posts: 1718
- Joined: March 24th, 2022, 11:53 am
- Gender: Female
- Issues: Recently sleep walking increased. History of anxiety depression
- preferred pronoun: She
- Location: New Zealand
Re: Mind Body and Trauma
Hi Team
Our country is in state of emergency currently and flooding the length of the country. All the rivers around our mountain have burst their banks and the South Island is in turmoil. We are lucky as we are safe where we are but roads are in a right mess. Holes forming absolutely everywhere.
I have spent the morning getting supplies and looking at what to get my son for his 18th in a couple of weeks. If this weather keeps up maybe some life jackets and a boat!
SD yesterday I managed to get a huge bag of bird food. 5kg sitting in shed as I ran out last Tuesday. Every morning the birds come and I end up giving them my toast! Minus the eggs! I felt bad as no seed and they were all sitting on the fences and powerlines waiting patiently for days!!
I pulled in the driveway and opened the boot, cut open the bag and wow birds came from every direction!!!! Shit everywhere. Small price to pay. Rain washes it all away.
There is something soothing about watching a bird in the bird bath.
Still feeling odd after last Thursday night. Therapist said re traumatising can effect the brain is profoundly strange ways.
Sleep walking again last night. Bloody brain. I feel like I’m riding shotgun with it.
I’m seeing my dear friend whom came to New Zealand as a refugee from Iran a few years ago. She has a doctorate in kinesiology, she wants to have a catch up and check in on me tomorrow morning. I’m struggling on the yoga mat currently. Feels like a brick wall has gone up.
Can I ask you all if you feel the same with sharing your emotions with others, do you feel guilty for offloading onto others?
I do, I feel like I’m a burden in some way. That my stuff shouldn’t effect others outside of me like it does. I feel guilty when I tell Joe or therapist what I do at work and difficult cases. I don’t want them to take it on in a way. I hadn't noticed this feeling before so strongly. Texting Donya my friend whom is the kinesiologist for advice on sleep and once I told her a little about my week she burst into tears. Yet this is a women whom has been hiding under a mattress while her home is being bombed.
I hate this feeling.
Anywho, better get some food sorted for the coming week. Portions like Oak is doing.
Our country is in state of emergency currently and flooding the length of the country. All the rivers around our mountain have burst their banks and the South Island is in turmoil. We are lucky as we are safe where we are but roads are in a right mess. Holes forming absolutely everywhere.
I have spent the morning getting supplies and looking at what to get my son for his 18th in a couple of weeks. If this weather keeps up maybe some life jackets and a boat!
SD yesterday I managed to get a huge bag of bird food. 5kg sitting in shed as I ran out last Tuesday. Every morning the birds come and I end up giving them my toast! Minus the eggs! I felt bad as no seed and they were all sitting on the fences and powerlines waiting patiently for days!!
I pulled in the driveway and opened the boot, cut open the bag and wow birds came from every direction!!!! Shit everywhere. Small price to pay. Rain washes it all away.
There is something soothing about watching a bird in the bird bath.
Still feeling odd after last Thursday night. Therapist said re traumatising can effect the brain is profoundly strange ways.
Sleep walking again last night. Bloody brain. I feel like I’m riding shotgun with it.
I’m seeing my dear friend whom came to New Zealand as a refugee from Iran a few years ago. She has a doctorate in kinesiology, she wants to have a catch up and check in on me tomorrow morning. I’m struggling on the yoga mat currently. Feels like a brick wall has gone up.
Can I ask you all if you feel the same with sharing your emotions with others, do you feel guilty for offloading onto others?
I do, I feel like I’m a burden in some way. That my stuff shouldn’t effect others outside of me like it does. I feel guilty when I tell Joe or therapist what I do at work and difficult cases. I don’t want them to take it on in a way. I hadn't noticed this feeling before so strongly. Texting Donya my friend whom is the kinesiologist for advice on sleep and once I told her a little about my week she burst into tears. Yet this is a women whom has been hiding under a mattress while her home is being bombed.
I hate this feeling.
Anywho, better get some food sorted for the coming week. Portions like Oak is doing.
-
snoringdog
- Posts: 1518
- Joined: April 23rd, 2019, 5:49 pm
- Gender: male
- Issues: anxiety, depression, automatic negative thoughts, intrusive thoughts, SAD.
- preferred pronoun: "Good Boy!"
- Location: USA
Re: Mind Body and Trauma
Hello Mental Fairy (Gia),
Just heard you on "You won't believe what happened to me" -
What a surprise - a wonderful Kiwi accent! (Though I did need to back up once or twice to catch a phrase or two
).
You were so articulate and poised...I thought, "What kind of help could we all possibly be to her?"
Anyway, wow, the weather! Here in the US, lately we're suffering from heat and drought.
Birds - I started a thread called "Birds - Endlessly fascinating". So beautiful and intriguing. So purposeful and determined. They can always pull me out of my head.
Sharing thoughts and emotions Ugh! - it's hard but necessary. (Paul has mentioned it a number of times). Carrying things alone for a long time is a heavy, heavy load, and it takes a toll... sometimes a drastic one. First responders, police & fire & medical personnel are on the front lines for PTSD, right? Anyone who is exposed to sudden, unexpected, stressful, painful and ugly things. Especially with the feeling of being helpless or powerless..
Yeah, we don't want to burden others with our thoughts and feelings, and some friends and acquaintances aren't ready or able to listen, at least not fully, especially to an unvarnished telling.
But you need to find those who can.
Paul keeps mentioning support groups. I've had no experience myself, but I'm sure they're around. And there are probably "Rules of engagement" so to speak, to make the discussions more helpful. "Unloading" feels good temporarily, whereas "Processing" helps longer term...
SD
Just heard you on "You won't believe what happened to me" -
What a surprise - a wonderful Kiwi accent! (Though I did need to back up once or twice to catch a phrase or two
).You were so articulate and poised...I thought, "What kind of help could we all possibly be to her?"
Anyway, wow, the weather! Here in the US, lately we're suffering from heat and drought.
Birds - I started a thread called "Birds - Endlessly fascinating". So beautiful and intriguing. So purposeful and determined. They can always pull me out of my head.
Sharing thoughts and emotions Ugh! - it's hard but necessary. (Paul has mentioned it a number of times). Carrying things alone for a long time is a heavy, heavy load, and it takes a toll... sometimes a drastic one. First responders, police & fire & medical personnel are on the front lines for PTSD, right? Anyone who is exposed to sudden, unexpected, stressful, painful and ugly things. Especially with the feeling of being helpless or powerless..
Yeah, we don't want to burden others with our thoughts and feelings, and some friends and acquaintances aren't ready or able to listen, at least not fully, especially to an unvarnished telling.
But you need to find those who can.
Paul keeps mentioning support groups. I've had no experience myself, but I'm sure they're around. And there are probably "Rules of engagement" so to speak, to make the discussions more helpful. "Unloading" feels good temporarily, whereas "Processing" helps longer term...
SD
-
Mental Fairy
- Posts: 1718
- Joined: March 24th, 2022, 11:53 am
- Gender: Female
- Issues: Recently sleep walking increased. History of anxiety depression
- preferred pronoun: She
- Location: New Zealand
Re: Mind Body and Trauma
Hey SD.
Thank you kindly. Glad you listened! Yes kiwi accent but I can’t tell.
Your comment on how could you all be of help to me, well you all care. You all have a level of understanding. We have all ended up on the same podcast for many different reasons and that’s enough to put a ring on this brain!
There’s a little spring in my step when I hear any of you make progress. There’s a spring in both my steps when I make a step forward.
Remembering back to the day I was at my lowest I can see how quick it can happen to go right back there. Clawing my way forward some days and skipping forward others.
If it wasn’t for Joe coming home that day that I was at my lowest I wouldn’t be here.
Helping others helps ourselves by giving ourselves a reason for logging in here and checking in.
Sadly in our town mental health is not widely acknowledged. There is zero support groups. I’ve looked, I’ve asked and I’ve researched and only ones here are for drug rehab and online grief help for baby loss. That’s it.
New Zealand is beautiful but lack in mental health care. It’s a three year waiting list for paid therapy through government. I go private as I researched my therapist beforehand. I’m a science person and I needed to know I was going to the right person. He saw our son as Mat had a moment or two after his friend committed suicide.
The price for an hour is $150.00NZD.
We have a massive suicide rate here.
I used to be part of mountain search and rescue back in my young fitter days. Many bodies pulled out of trees
It’s been a hard slog to get this far and it’s made easier by having people like you all around.
I don’t have many friends. Yesterday my neighbour asked us over to their place after work for dinner and I couldn’t go. The thought just does my head in. I don’t like faking it’s all ok after work hours. At work I’m 100% professional. The moment I get on the bike or in the car I brake into little bits slowly.
When I got home on Thursday night Joe opened the door to our stairs from the basement, he knew by the look on my face I was broken. All I said was there was a lot of blood and I tried to save her. He didn’t know what to say. Matt immediately grabbed me water and put the shower on as I had blood all over my pants and I never knew. Joe knowing what I’ve been through already is to scared to approach the subject much. I just wept like a broken fountain.
I’m worried I still feel numb. I can still feel the dreams from last night on my shoulder and I fear tonight.
Thinking of you all and wish we were all neighbours.
From flooded NZ to all of your locations I’m with you all the way on your journeys.
Thank you kindly. Glad you listened! Yes kiwi accent but I can’t tell.
Your comment on how could you all be of help to me, well you all care. You all have a level of understanding. We have all ended up on the same podcast for many different reasons and that’s enough to put a ring on this brain!
There’s a little spring in my step when I hear any of you make progress. There’s a spring in both my steps when I make a step forward.
Remembering back to the day I was at my lowest I can see how quick it can happen to go right back there. Clawing my way forward some days and skipping forward others.
If it wasn’t for Joe coming home that day that I was at my lowest I wouldn’t be here.
Helping others helps ourselves by giving ourselves a reason for logging in here and checking in.
Sadly in our town mental health is not widely acknowledged. There is zero support groups. I’ve looked, I’ve asked and I’ve researched and only ones here are for drug rehab and online grief help for baby loss. That’s it.
New Zealand is beautiful but lack in mental health care. It’s a three year waiting list for paid therapy through government. I go private as I researched my therapist beforehand. I’m a science person and I needed to know I was going to the right person. He saw our son as Mat had a moment or two after his friend committed suicide.
The price for an hour is $150.00NZD.
We have a massive suicide rate here.
I used to be part of mountain search and rescue back in my young fitter days. Many bodies pulled out of trees
It’s been a hard slog to get this far and it’s made easier by having people like you all around.
I don’t have many friends. Yesterday my neighbour asked us over to their place after work for dinner and I couldn’t go. The thought just does my head in. I don’t like faking it’s all ok after work hours. At work I’m 100% professional. The moment I get on the bike or in the car I brake into little bits slowly.
When I got home on Thursday night Joe opened the door to our stairs from the basement, he knew by the look on my face I was broken. All I said was there was a lot of blood and I tried to save her. He didn’t know what to say. Matt immediately grabbed me water and put the shower on as I had blood all over my pants and I never knew. Joe knowing what I’ve been through already is to scared to approach the subject much. I just wept like a broken fountain.
I’m worried I still feel numb. I can still feel the dreams from last night on my shoulder and I fear tonight.
Thinking of you all and wish we were all neighbours.
From flooded NZ to all of your locations I’m with you all the way on your journeys.
Re: Mind Body and Trauma
Mental Fairy, thank you for sharing.
What you describe, with the blood on surgical scrubs, is a very serious matter, certainly a traumatic experience. We stand by you: us here, your family, therapist, and colleagues.
I am sorry to hear the suicide rate is so high in NZ. May I ask if there are any demographic trends (eg young men)?
I know you aren’t a mental health professional, but do you have any idea why they complete suicide?
Lastly, I hope you enjoy the remaining weekend. Summer is waning here, so I hope spring is just starting to peek out there.
(Also, thanks for your pepper suggestion. I have a plan to chat up the attractive produce woman at the bougie grocery store tomorrow regarding your suggestion. I’ll update then!)
What you describe, with the blood on surgical scrubs, is a very serious matter, certainly a traumatic experience. We stand by you: us here, your family, therapist, and colleagues.
I am sorry to hear the suicide rate is so high in NZ. May I ask if there are any demographic trends (eg young men)?
I know you aren’t a mental health professional, but do you have any idea why they complete suicide?
Lastly, I hope you enjoy the remaining weekend. Summer is waning here, so I hope spring is just starting to peek out there.
(Also, thanks for your pepper suggestion. I have a plan to chat up the attractive produce woman at the bougie grocery store tomorrow regarding your suggestion. I’ll update then!)
Work is love made visible. -Kahlil Gibran
A person with a "why" can endure any "how". -Viktor Frankl
Which is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort? -Skyrim
A person with a "why" can endure any "how". -Viktor Frankl
Which is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort? -Skyrim
-
snoringdog
- Posts: 1518
- Joined: April 23rd, 2019, 5:49 pm
- Gender: male
- Issues: anxiety, depression, automatic negative thoughts, intrusive thoughts, SAD.
- preferred pronoun: "Good Boy!"
- Location: USA
Re: Mind Body and Trauma
Hello Gia / Mental Fairy,
Not too good at this, and feel a bit stupid offering this, but
Hey SD.
Thank you kindly. Glad you listened! Yes kiwi accent but I can’t tell.
(Turns out there are hours of Youtube videos exploring the Kiwi accent, and many others!)
Your comment on how could you all be of help to me, well you all care. You all have a level of understanding. We have all ended up on the same podcast for many different reasons and that’s enough to put a ring on this brain!
Yeah, sorry for being stupid...
Remembering back to the day I was at my lowest I can see how quick it can happen to go right back there. Clawing my way forward some days and skipping forward others.
Yes. Self care and routines are easy to forget, but so important for stability. Ask me about it...
If it wasn’t for Joe coming home that day that I was at my lowest I wouldn’t be here.
O.M.G. Though we haven't met, I'm very glad that you're still here.
Sadly in our town mental health is not widely acknowledged. There are zero support groups. I’ve looked, I’ve asked and I’ve researched and only ones here are for drug rehab and online grief help for baby loss. That’s it.
Here comes something from yours truly, "Mr. Obvious" -
Poked around a bit and I see that a Trauma conference is scheduled for Feb/March 23. Maybe someone in that org. has info on support groups for medical professionals?
https://www.nztrauma.com/about
----------------------------------------
And I'm sure you know these;
https://mentalhealth.org.nz/helplines
https://mentalhealth.org.nz/help/support-for-myself
--------------------------------------------
And a few more that I'll be referring to myself...
Intrusive thoughts & Overthinking
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3vhXQy48jo
And simple exercises, but they work!
https://www.smallsteps.org.nz/
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My boss whom is the most amazing strong and courageous women is shocked. She spoke to me before and said she woke in early hours in a panic attack.
This is quite serious stuff. If *she* is shocked, it means something then, doesn't it?!
But maybe she can be your ally, and you hers. Maybe the two of you can be the nucleus of your own support group? Maybe it starts with just a simple 5 minute chat once or twice a week when things get stressful.
--------------------------------------
New Zealand is beautiful but lacking in mental health care. It’s a three year waiting list for paid therapy through government. I go private as I researched my therapist beforehand. I’m a science person and I needed to know I was going to the right person. He saw our son as Mat had a moment or two after his friend committed suicide.
Yes, when you wrote about this I was worried that the idea could be contagious. What a shock for him, and he was probably wondering if he could have done something to prevent it..
---------------------------------------------
We have a massive suicide rate here.
I used to be part of mountain search and rescue back in my young fitter days. Many bodies pulled out of trees.
That's depressing. There's an area around beautiful Mt Fuji that's similar...
-------------------------------
It’s been a hard slog to get this far and it’s made easier by having people like you all around.
I don’t have many friends. Yesterday my neighbour asked us over to their place after work for dinner and I couldn’t go. The thought just does my head in.
Switching quickly from work to social must be hard. Like a deep-diver, you need time to decompress.
Last Thursday was like being in a warzone for you. And every *other* day you're dealing with people when they're vulnerable and stressed...
I don’t like faking it’s all ok after work hours. At work I’m 100% professional. The moment I get on the bike or in the car I break into little bits slowly.
How to manage this? It's not "all OK", but how to keep perspective and an even keel? Socialization helps (In metered doses
)
When I got home on Thursday night Joe opened the door to our stairs from the basement, he knew by the look on my face I was broken. All I said was there was a lot of blood and I tried to save her. He didn’t know what to say. Matt immediately grabbed me water and put the shower on as I had blood all over my pants and I never knew.
Joe knowing what I’ve been through already is too scared to approach the subject much...
Of course he wouldn't know what to say! Words can be so inadequate. Hugs and simple presence can be good.
Joe seems like a caring partner, but maybe you can help him to help you somehow? Setting up/agreeing on some kind of framework for discussion when you need it? When you need time alone... when you need a hug... when you'd like him to help by listening (and not feeling that he needs to do anything besides that...)
I’m worried I still feel numb. I can still feel the dreams from last night on my shoulder and I fear tonight.
How to process this stuff, and relieve the numbness?
Here's a little more from Mr. Obvious / Mr. Busybody again;
A couple of links on nightmares. Sometimes the comments are as valuable as anything in the videos...
Managing PTSD Nightmares
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WtZKo-0fFo
Stop having nightmares
https://youtu.be/WJXY_u0KAR0
And on Sleep, glorious Sleep -
https://sleepjunkies.com/
Thinking of you all and wish we were all neighbours.
Yes.
From flooded NZ to all of your locations I’m with you all the way on your journeys.
And we, yours.
Wishing you well.
Kei te hiahia pai koe - Is that right?
Not too good at this, and feel a bit stupid offering this, but
Hey SD.
Thank you kindly. Glad you listened! Yes kiwi accent but I can’t tell.
(Turns out there are hours of Youtube videos exploring the Kiwi accent, and many others!)
Your comment on how could you all be of help to me, well you all care. You all have a level of understanding. We have all ended up on the same podcast for many different reasons and that’s enough to put a ring on this brain!
Yeah, sorry for being stupid...
Remembering back to the day I was at my lowest I can see how quick it can happen to go right back there. Clawing my way forward some days and skipping forward others.
Yes. Self care and routines are easy to forget, but so important for stability. Ask me about it...
If it wasn’t for Joe coming home that day that I was at my lowest I wouldn’t be here.
O.M.G. Though we haven't met, I'm very glad that you're still here.
Sadly in our town mental health is not widely acknowledged. There are zero support groups. I’ve looked, I’ve asked and I’ve researched and only ones here are for drug rehab and online grief help for baby loss. That’s it.
Here comes something from yours truly, "Mr. Obvious" -
Poked around a bit and I see that a Trauma conference is scheduled for Feb/March 23. Maybe someone in that org. has info on support groups for medical professionals?
https://www.nztrauma.com/about
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And I'm sure you know these;
https://mentalhealth.org.nz/helplines
https://mentalhealth.org.nz/help/support-for-myself
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And a few more that I'll be referring to myself...
Intrusive thoughts & Overthinking
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3vhXQy48jo
And simple exercises, but they work!
https://www.smallsteps.org.nz/
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My boss whom is the most amazing strong and courageous women is shocked. She spoke to me before and said she woke in early hours in a panic attack.
This is quite serious stuff. If *she* is shocked, it means something then, doesn't it?!
But maybe she can be your ally, and you hers. Maybe the two of you can be the nucleus of your own support group? Maybe it starts with just a simple 5 minute chat once or twice a week when things get stressful.
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New Zealand is beautiful but lacking in mental health care. It’s a three year waiting list for paid therapy through government. I go private as I researched my therapist beforehand. I’m a science person and I needed to know I was going to the right person. He saw our son as Mat had a moment or two after his friend committed suicide.
Yes, when you wrote about this I was worried that the idea could be contagious. What a shock for him, and he was probably wondering if he could have done something to prevent it..
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We have a massive suicide rate here.
I used to be part of mountain search and rescue back in my young fitter days. Many bodies pulled out of trees.
That's depressing. There's an area around beautiful Mt Fuji that's similar...
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It’s been a hard slog to get this far and it’s made easier by having people like you all around.
I don’t have many friends. Yesterday my neighbour asked us over to their place after work for dinner and I couldn’t go. The thought just does my head in.
Switching quickly from work to social must be hard. Like a deep-diver, you need time to decompress.
Last Thursday was like being in a warzone for you. And every *other* day you're dealing with people when they're vulnerable and stressed...
I don’t like faking it’s all ok after work hours. At work I’m 100% professional. The moment I get on the bike or in the car I break into little bits slowly.
How to manage this? It's not "all OK", but how to keep perspective and an even keel? Socialization helps (In metered doses
)When I got home on Thursday night Joe opened the door to our stairs from the basement, he knew by the look on my face I was broken. All I said was there was a lot of blood and I tried to save her. He didn’t know what to say. Matt immediately grabbed me water and put the shower on as I had blood all over my pants and I never knew.
Joe knowing what I’ve been through already is too scared to approach the subject much...
Of course he wouldn't know what to say! Words can be so inadequate. Hugs and simple presence can be good.
Joe seems like a caring partner, but maybe you can help him to help you somehow? Setting up/agreeing on some kind of framework for discussion when you need it? When you need time alone... when you need a hug... when you'd like him to help by listening (and not feeling that he needs to do anything besides that...)
I’m worried I still feel numb. I can still feel the dreams from last night on my shoulder and I fear tonight.
How to process this stuff, and relieve the numbness?
Here's a little more from Mr. Obvious / Mr. Busybody again;
A couple of links on nightmares. Sometimes the comments are as valuable as anything in the videos...
Managing PTSD Nightmares
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WtZKo-0fFo
Stop having nightmares
https://youtu.be/WJXY_u0KAR0
And on Sleep, glorious Sleep -
https://sleepjunkies.com/
Thinking of you all and wish we were all neighbours.
Yes.
From flooded NZ to all of your locations I’m with you all the way on your journeys.
And we, yours.
Wishing you well.
Kei te hiahia pai koe - Is that right?
Re: Mind Body and Trauma
I'm so very sorry MF, and wish you more comfort, peace and sleep this week as you try to process the traumatic events you experienced. I wish that you *were* actually my neighbor so that I could bake your family's favorite dessert and bring it over, or just give you a huge in person hug.
rg
rg