Mind Body and Trauma

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Team

Well here we go again. As many people as possible are trying to leave the top of the north island with animals and elderly in tow. There is a code red of rain now falling today on them far worse than last Friday. The people i know up there have lost homes and pets. The amount of rain is truly hard to comprehend.

I had one sleepwalking episode early this morning which has caused me to be up since 3am. Feeling like i have a hangover for some reason. Need that cookie store SD!

I am awaiting a fine day so i can climb Paratutu Rock to show you just how close we are to the hill. It might blow your minds really when i think about it.

Better get back to my paperwork, two days until we go back to work full time. Sigh!

[oak]

Mental Fairy, a quick perusal if the storm looks pretty miserable. I hope you and your friends are doing well.

And, if you don’t mind me asking, have doctors or counselors or sleep doctors had any idea about the cause(s) of your sleep walking?

Are there any treatments?

A quick look at the amazing NIH PubMed showed some research.

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Oak

The storm up north is wild and terrible. As a lot of our patients travel down to see us or fly I have many stuck in the coromandel peninsula and Auckland. Many have lost vehicles and possessions.

We are sitting here watching the cloud roll over us.

I’m somewhat worried.

Doctors think maybe my sleepwalking is trauma or stress related as my brother is not as bad. As for my parents I’m not sure about them and they had habits of climbing into others beds and not eating cat food like they should have been!

I am certain it is stress triggered. It’s also starting to make me a little worried this could be a life sentence!

I have looked at your NIH Pubmed. Something I am unfamiliar with. Do I just type in sleep walking?

Thank you Oak

[oak]

I have looked at your NIH Pubmed. Something I am unfamiliar with. Do I just type in sleep walking?

Yes, Mental Fairy, PubMed can open a whole new world: thanks to the vast power of the federal government, we have all sorts of studies. I used it to great effect when considering the Mediterranean Diet, and the studies can get quite granular.

To wit:

This is a search using "sleepwalking AND trauma":

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/?term=sleepwalking+AND+trauma

Another example, let's say that you wanted to find the latest studies for "colon cancer treatment":

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/?term=colon+cancer+treatment&sort=date

Several results down, I see this:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36714149/

I'm not a scientist, but think of how your patients may be interested in this study?

Let's say that, next week, you have a patient in front of you who has this very situation. Because you read the paragraph below, you can look them right in the eye and, with the authority of the greatest scientific minds in history, tell them the truth...

"...the survival rate of en bloc resection was 72% with invasion of the duodenum, 71.43% with invasion of the pancreas, 55.56% with simultaneous invasion of the duodenum and pancreas, and 57.9% with invasion of neighboring organs with/without invasion of duodenum and/or pancreas. These survival results were higher than with local resection of the affected organ plus RHC."

I won't pretend to understand the science terms, but everyone understands that 70% offers considerable hope.

That is what PubMed does: you have, at your fingertips, the greatest library of research at your fingertips. You're only limited by your imagination.

[Mental Fairy]

Thank you Oak.

I will have a study of this.

Sadly we have people passing before treatment and surgery can start as we have very little specialists and not many medications available as pharmac here won’t pay for funding of many medications. Hence why we have give a little pages to donate to patients to help them buy medication. New Zealand medical system is beyond broken and very expensive.

[Mental Fairy]

My young man had a meltdown yesterday.

He is lucky enough to have a great opportunity in work and yesterday never showed up. He went missing for the day. He was found eventually. He is struggling with the feelings he has regarding grandpa. Grandpa is in his 90s and unwell due to heart issues. This is Matt’s last grandparent. And the only one he has grown up to this age with. Seeing the loss of all his grandparents in such horrid ways he seems to be facing fear of grief, fear of loss and fear of how this love for someone feels.

Joe doesn’t understand at all. He was unable to communicate with him as he’s not good with that sort of thing. I tried not getting mad and angry as I was worried when he went missing.

So now Matt has to face his boss this morning and explain why he took off.

The fear of loss, the fear of emotions one feels is near impossible to run from and yesterday Matt learnt no matter how fast you run, no matter where you hide, grief will find you regardless.

This opportunity he has is rare and his father played a big part on getting this position for him through contacts. Joe feels embarrassed by Matt’s actions and is seriously angry. I feel anger but also sadness that the feeling Matt has right now is terrifying. There is nothing I can do but allow him to address this himself. This could cost him his opportunity. He has had large amounts of grief counselling for his experience with his grief from losing Nana and great nana. Sadly grandpa is like his best friend, they lunch together two times a week and practice boxing together. The time is coming to say goodbye to grandpa and I fear I could lose my boy for a bit after this.

Sigh, back to full time today. Why now!!!!!!

Hugs to all

[oak]

Mental Fairy, thank you for sharing. I hope you are doing well.

Like you, I am returning to full-time, regular work. It has to happen eventually, I suppose.

I also took time off of work, and need to face the consequences, much like your son.

I find it interesting that a coworker of mine has not been in for 2.5 weeks, and differently I handled it.

For better or worse (and often worse!), I used my words: I was the squeaky wheel: I was upfront (I couldn't hide my breakdown: it was obvious), and got a total of five days off in the last two weeks with little/no notice. While I am far behind in my work, at least I have a plan for going forward, and living a more satisfactory life.

For your son, this sounds like an error-of-youth situation. Even a one-minute call can a long way to mitigating these situations.

I did the same thing as him, except when I was ten years older. I've learned the hard way about the importance of timely communication:

An honest if imperfect word now is worth much more than the perfect words when everything is already done and decided.

[manuel_moe_g]

“””An honest if imperfect word now is worth much more than the perfect words when everything is already done and decided.”””

Wisdom

[snoringdog]

Helo Mental Fairy,

What precipitated the meltdown right now do you think?
Did his grandfather have some kind of emergent health episode?

And what did Matt end up doing for the day?

No one likes to talk about such things, but maybe his grandfather can have a heart-to-heart talk with him, as preparation. (If he's of that mind).

Please excuse and ignore any of this as you see fit, just trying to understand...

SD

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Family

Well i am just holding it together. I have spoken to Matts boss and supervisor and explained things more to them. There was a meeting and discussion between Matt and his boss.
Matt went to his grandpas and they had a chat the day he went MIA. He seemed to do the rounds visiting people, hence why we thought the worst.

I drove home last night and pushed the shed button thingy in my car to open as i came down the driveway. I had to prep myself for the worst. I know this sounds horrid but Matt has been in this dark place before and this was talked about. After his friend passed away we watched him just dissolve into a shell of a young lad. I still feel he may flip again yet. He has therapist in place.

Matt attended an appointment with grandpa and myself a couple of weeks ago with heart doctors. There was talk there was nothing more they could do for him as his heart is on the blink. He is a great grandpa after all and in his 90's. The two of them have this incredible bond.

Matt was stood down from his new apprenticeship and he walked away from it not explaining the situation due to the shame factor.

I got Matts phone and i called the boss, we had an hours length chat this morning and i explained this young lad is pre grieving. He has seen an enormous amount of loss and he is preparing himself for more. By the end of the call both myself and this man were in tears. He had no idea as Matt is so private. He was shocked beyond words. He also is a good friend of Joes and Joe has said nothing to him at all. There was discussion of reinstating Matt and setting in place some help and avenue for him if things get hard. We are yet to get the confirmation on if they will as yet. There has to be talk with higher up people as this company is international. Cross fingers.

Matt is still keen to continue but i see a large amount of pain in his eyes. He has closed down a lot over the last few days.

Because this position for him is full time he will not be able to attend appointments with grandpa. So myself and Joe will be. He feels left out as he was doing all the appointments with him. Sadly this is a time where Matt has to face feelings.

I feel exhausted, Joe and i are not sleeping well. I am sleeping downstairs now as the weather is so hot. To hot upstairs.

It is a long weekend this weekend as it is Waitangi Day here on Monday.

Will see how this pans out.

If Matt does not go back he wants to go to police training. That is also out of the pan and into the fire scenario. He has done entry level test and passed but he is too young and no life experience.

I have learnt one thing over the last two days about myself. I can't hold a conversation when stressed and i have had zero appetite and saliva! Stress is horrible.

Joe is not talking at all, he has shut off. He won't even look at Matt. I know this is hard but Joe got him this rare placement and sadly he feels great shame and embarrassment. I feel like we have an atlantic ocean of emotions at home currently.