Dragged back to the past
Posted: April 8th, 2015, 3:24 am
It's crazy the things that give me flashbacks. The other day my mother was getting dressed up and she sprayed a perfume and that was it, I was stuck in a memory. I was back in that horrible place with that fear creeping up on me again, like an out of body experience. It's so hard to centre yourself when you're triggered. I go to school in the middle of the city and multiple times a day I see the face of my attackers in the crowds. It completely throws me no matter how many times I say it's not them. I usually have a panic attack and then have to calm myself and go into class with a smile on my face even though I feel like running as fast as I can and hiding in my bedroom. It's like once that flight or fight response is triggered it seems impossible to turn it off. I wish people knew how hard it is for me to get out of bed somedays and face the day knowing I'm going to see those faces.