'Survivor's' Guilt

[Dan Smith]

I keep remembering things I should have said.
My partner, who was away on a family vacation when the shooting happened felt tremendously guilty when he returned and found that I'd been shot.
I told him that I preferred it this way. I was young and he was much older. He had a family and I was single. He couldn't afford to have been shot in his circumstances. He might not have recovered so well.
I don't know if that helped much. I don't know if this still troubles him. I don't think so, but perhaps it does.
Thanks to this show and the interview I did with Paul (that hopefully will air and soon) there are things that keep coming back now.
I feel proud of this memory. But I still worry about my partner who was absent that day.