YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I'm at a loss. I'm very sexual for a week or so and then I get disgusted by it for an indefinite period of time. It's killed so many relationships and I still haven't any insight 20 years into my sex life. Dating is so hard and I always fear I'll lose a woman due to this. My current gf is supportive and sensitive, but I hate myself for not being able to please her more often. Please help!

PTSD cognitive therapy for couples has been a huge help for me. I was fine for 25 years then for some reason I HATED sex. I really wanted to punch my husband when he touched me in certain ways, triggers. It's been like that for the last 20 years. In couples therapy I didn't have to talk much about the assault, just once at the initial interview. It lasts 15 sessions and It has structure and assignments not just endless talking. I found out my triggers and a way to give myself control. I found I became angry bc I just let my husband do whatever with me. I said to myself, "he loves me, he's kind, he deserves sex and I must if I want a marraige". So therapy got me to a point where most of the anger is gone. I just wonder how go enjoy sex again? I wonder if it's possible? I was normal for 25 years! Why can't I go back.

When my husband touches me vaginally I get angry. Penitration with his pens is okay. When my husband would hug me I would enjoy it. If he touched my but I'd get angry. When he sat next to me I'd cover my lap with a pillow or such to feel safe. During PTSD therapy we had assignments. We had to sit together several times a day with him touching my leg, near my croch, then on my butt for 5, 10, 20min then up to an hour. I'm okay with those touches now. I still get angry with vaginal touch and I don't enjoy sex. The best I can do is, it's just a chore. Can any sexual victims with PTSD enjoy sex again.

God this is such a drag. I'm seriously considering breaking up with my amazing girlfriend even though our relationship is great because of this. I can't imagine disappointing her day after day for the rest of her life.

Are you seeing anyone about this issue?

Don't let it kill a good relationship, maybe there's a solution to your problem!