What does one say?

[Mental Fairy]

You pick up the phone, you dial the number. No amount of time or role play can prepare you for the conversation you are possibly going to have.

Anxious levels 7/10
Dismay levels 9/10
Professional level 10/10

She answered, you conduct your well versed lines.

Hi ….. it’s Gia here from your specialist clinic.
We have your results in and I have compiled all your results ready for review before a panel of specialists whom meet every Wednesday to discuss the presenting cases from all our specialists in the central hub.

The discussion and decision-making will take place and we will notify you on where and when your surgery takes place.

Sadly there has been masses located in both your ovaries, bowel, thyroid glands and possibly your bladder. We will do our level best to provide you with all information as it is communicated with us over the coming week.

The silence starts, the boiling of the atmosphere starts to pop in your airs, the anticipation of the questions heightens.

The questions I got was this

What do I tell my kids?
Do they take cases by level of importance and whom is closer to death than others?
What do I do?
Why do I feel so powerless over my own body, I want it out now. Take it please, take it out.
Begging for life, begging for answers, now yesterday, the day before.
What did I miss?
How do I end my life sooner if it’s going to be a hard death? (What death isn’t?)
What plans do I make?
Is it in my brain?
What do I tell my kids?
It’s the worse case scenario isn’t it? It won’t be benign will it? What grows in multiple places and not be cancer?
What would you do?
Please tell me what to do, please help me how to feel?
Gia, please tell me what I am meant to do, please.

My reply….

Hold your kids, tell them you love them unconditionally, hug them with meaning, and let it linger. Kiss them extra at night before bed. Feel the breeze, soak in the moments no one else sees. Admire your body for it has served you and now we must try and fix it.
Brush your teeth, brush your hair, don’t neglect.
Get angry, get sad, experience laugher for what it is.
But for gods sake tell the people you care about you love them even if you have never meet their true selves.
Write things down, colour things in, read, watch, feel, show yourself when you hurt, and allow us to help.

I will do my level best to support you.

***now this is why I’m here***

Some people need to help me too because I need to help you.

[manuel_moe_g]

Wow, so intense.

I have to think before I can make a proper reply

But we definitely will do what we can to support you, Gia/Mental Fairy

You deserve no less than our best efforts

[Mental Fairy]

Thanks MM

I feel ok, just waves of emotions currently as I have had many good cases, but this does knock one around a little. It never gets easier.

I got home and I was greeted by a duck coming through the cat flap. I had to laugh cry then laugh following a debriefing with Joe. Matt sat there and gave me a hug I wished never ended.

[rivergirl]

Hi Gia,

Your work is so meaningful, and yet I can't imagine the toll it must take at times.

I'm glad you had your family and even the curious duck to provide a little comfort at the end of your day.

Hugs,

rivergirl